Posts Tagged ‘dragons’

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Top 10 Dragon Shouts

July 31, 2015

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Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve done a top 10 list of anything, so I’d figure a list for the best and most useful shouts (in my opinion) was an order. Of course, this ranking is pretty loose, I tried setting them in order but like most gameplay elements shouts have more usefulness depending on the situation.

Also mild spoilers.

Anyway, let’s get to it!

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Touching the Sky – DAWNGUARD (Part 4 – Final)

May 31, 2015

This post is a continuation. To read the previous entry, click here.

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So off to Darkfall Cave. And they aren’t lying. It’s dark as fuck. And basically after wandering around blindly for a few minutes, I come across a bridge. And by now I know how this works. Of course the bridge fucking breaks. And wee, I fall down into a raging river below and ride the waves for who knows how long, until I get dumped in an even darker part of the cave. Yay.

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DAWNGUARD (Part 3)

March 30, 2015

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Well off into the Shadow Realm Soul Cairn!

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DAWNGUARD (Part 1)

November 30, 2014

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Alright, it took me awhile to get around to it, but I finally began the Dawnguard questline.

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Surviving Legendary Difficulty

July 31, 2014

With a freshly bought Skyrim: Legendary Edition, I loaded the game in anticipation. Finally I could play all the DLCs. Finally, I could mod to my heart’s content. And I could raise the difficulty to the maximum, since Master wasn’t much of a challenge anymore.

Choose your destiny.

Choose your destiny.

I started a new game, quickly making an Imperial woman, named her Lyra, and awoke in a cell. I had installed the mod “Another Life” because I’d be damned if I had to sit through the opening credits for the billionth time (though I did end up accidentally picking it the first time around FFFUUU–) I talked to a statue of Mara, chose my life as a bandit and spawned in the middle of some tundra, wearing just a shitty set of fur armor and wielding a single iron sword. I looked around the bandit camp, unable to find a shield for the life of me. Oh well. Time to get going. Read the rest of this entry ?

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Top 10 Glitches of Skyrim

July 31, 2013

Here’s a list of my top 10 weird Skyrim glitches, in no particular order. If you’re a player of this game, I’m sure you’ve encountered at least one of them before!

Click each header for video examples (when available)!

Backwards Dragon

omg-is-that-a-backwards-flying-dragon-in-skyrim

Out of all of the glitches on this list, I think this is probably the most infamous one of all. Back around Skyrim’s launch, a lot users reported having dragons flying backwards or just spinning around. Unfortunately, I never got to experience the backwards flying weirdness, but I did get a lot of spinning dragons that disappear into the sky, or swallowed up into mountains.

Sabertooth Cat/Spinning Creatures

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This glitch is pretty much like above, except with dead animals or people perhaps being possessed by some supernatural force and throw into the sky. The video linked is probably the funniest example I’ve seen by far. I’ve only had spinning dragons, unfortunately, including Paarthurnax and an Elder dragon.

Naked NPCs

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“Nope, sorry. Nothing.”
You mean your clothes?
(Image Credit: skyrimglitches.tumblr.com)

And no, I’m not talking about completely naked ass and tits. There’s plenty of mods for that.

My sister, who doesn’t play Skyrim much told me once she was exploring around Winterhold, saw three naked men come over the horizon. What. I swear Nords must never feel the cold, but their nipples must be forever rock hard, wow. Marcurio pulled the same stunt on me, running up behind me with nothing but a dragon priest mask on.

Me: “OH BY THE DIVINES MARCURIO YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME! …Wait, why are you naked? WHERE IS ALL THE SHIT I GAVE YOU?”

Marcurio: “I AM AN APPRENTICE WIZARD, NOT A PACK MULE!”

Me: “DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD DROP ALL MY SHIT, JACK ASS!”

And then there’s the naked courier, they bring you the fan mail…and the fan service. Where does he pull the letters from? From between his butt cheeks, of course!

Secret Chests AKA “Do Not Delete”

(Image Credit: twiz60 @ SkyrimNexus)

(Image Credit: twiz60 @ SkyrimNexus)

More of an exploit than a glitch. Apparently if you carry a plate or other kind of object and run at certain walls in just the right angles you can break into a secret room, sparsely decorated sans chest in the middle of the floor. There’s a few more things that involve some weird glitching out to get to, apparently they’re merchant chests used by the developers and not meant to be reachable by normal means.

Moving Mannequins

Image Credit: The Elder Scrolls Wiki

(Image Credit: The Elder Scrolls Wiki)

Probably the creepiest of the bunch, is the moving mannequins in Riften. If you bought Honeyside and been in the cellar, you’ve probably experienced it before. If you leave the house and come back, the mannequins tend to move on their own and reappear in odd places, almost like someone broke in and moved them or they have some sort of life of their own…

Back from the Dead

"I'm back from the dead and you still haven't proven your puny ass yet, whelp." (Image Source: UESP Wiki)

“I’m back from the dead and you still haven’t proven your puny ass yet, whelp.”
(Image Source: UESP Wiki)

Skjor is most infamous of all for this glitch. If you’ve done the Companions story, you know he dies near the beginning of the quest line. Problem is…he doesn’t seem to stay dead. You can usually find him wandering Skyrim with various members of the Companions, like nothing happened to him at all. For me, when he came back to life he moved by lying face down and sliding along the ground. Probably one of the strangest (and amusing) glitches I’ve ever encountered.

Facelessness

I’ve never encountered this glitch but apparently you can trigger it by donning the arch mage robes and wearing a dragon priest mask. Not exactly game breaking, but amusing none the less. If you’re on PC, a simple google search should yield you a fix if it bothers you that much.

Swimming in the Air

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Sometimes, when you get tired of trekking around Skyrim on foot or horse…you just gotta try something new. How about swimming, on land? Apparently the swimming animation can trigger randomly, usually around bodies of water. I’ve encountered this glitch myself, but in my case, while amusing it was actually quite helpful!

Lydia’s Favourite Chair

"Tell him to get the fuck outta my chair!"

“Tell him to get the fuck outta my chair!”

I’m not quite sure if they patched this recently (probably), but this glitch annoyed me so much that I moved out of Whiterun just because I was so tired of Lydia’s “Welcome back, my Thane” while she ate bread and watched me sleep. Excuse me, don’t you have your own damn room?! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS IN THAT CHAIR?! IT’S SO GODDAMN CREEPY!

Spinning Horse & Cart

A glitch on this list that’s actually game breaking, but still hilarious to see. Too bad it happens so early in the game you don’t even get to play. It was quickly patched soon after launch, but this video sums it up pretty well. I still laugh every time.

Special Mentions

Horse tricks – Random encounters of people standing on horses.
Falling through the floor – It happens.
Disappearing houses.
Missing textures.
Glowing eyes – Super annoying in first person, it’s a permanent glitch encountered occasionally after using Aura Whisper. Not sure if it ever got patched, hope it did.
NPCs ignoring you and not triggering missions. – Super annoying, usually fixable by loading an earlier save, or killing an enemy nearby.
Enemies not attacking you, even when you’re right in front of them.
Water hates you – PS3 players, you no doubt remember this. Everytime you entered a body of water, the game crashed.
Shadowmere/Frost/Horses disappearing.
Louis Letrush duplicating himself just outside of Whiterun.
Getting stuck in unusual places. – It happens, especially on rocky terrain. Usually you need to reload an earlier save!

There’s plenty more glitches in Skyrim, after all, this is a Bethesda game, but these are the ones that stood out most to me. Let me know in the comments which ones you’ve experienced, and which are your favourites! 🙂

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Revenge of the Ancients

December 12, 2012
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Image Credit: njaall.tumblr.com

So during my usual adventuring through the mystical province of Skyrim, I managed to collect enough junk to almost be over-encumbered, so I headed back to my home in the mountains, my stone house in Markarth. I no longer kept any followers, mainly because J’Zargo died on me like seventy times during a pretty weak bandit attack, so I kind of got tired of picking up after dead people so I basically had to haul ass by myself. I mean, now I was pretty much a target without any decoys to back me up, but hey, it’s not like they were much use to me anymore.

So anyway, back to traveling back to Markarth, I was just outside the city and riding up on my trusty steed. I dismounted by the stables and casually walked up to the gate.

ROOOOOAAARRR

The ground shook violently and a dark shadow swooped overhead. I looked up to see a dragon–just not ANY dragon, an Ancient dragon, so I brought out my soon-to-be-retired glass bow, Odin, and readied it as I waited for the dragon to fly closer again.

He didn’t.

Basically he flew around the mountains for 10 minutes while I fruitlessly tried to fire arrows into his scaly hide.

Getting kind of dizzy spinning around for no good reason, I said “fuck it” and went into the city. And went back out again.

Roar, dragon.

Still didn’t come down.

Fuck.

Back into the city. He’s still roaring.

Outside. Dragonrend.

Doesn’t even hit him.

So I went to go drop off my junk loot and came back out later.

He still didn’t come down.

I said, fuck this, and basically turned off the XBOX in disappointment and called it a night.

I loaded it up the next day and the bitch finally landed, breathing fire in my face.

Okay, bitch. Now it’s time to eat some arrows. Thanks for finally landing, fucking finally.

He took a bite out my head and tossed me a like a rag doll.

…Fuck me.

A little while later, running around in the College of Winterhold, trying to do the Conjuration quest for the unbound Daedra thing so I could make my epic bow, I was running between buildings to grab things. After completing the quest and getting to keep the Sigil Stone, I left the Hall of Countenance with Marcurio (for some reason I can’t remember I brought him along as my pack mule). Now, sometimes during the loading screens that can take upwards of 2 minutes on a bad day, I go grab a glass of water and leave the game, so when I come back it would be finished loading and I could just resume play as soon as I returned.

Big.

Big.

Mistake.

So I come back and basically everyone outside the College is going fucking nuts. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on, but I guess turning my character 90 degrees right into the face of an Ancient Dragon certainly gave me a clue. I guess it was due to reflexes or maybe the fact Marcurio distracted the big brute that I practically dived behind a stone pillar and barely escaped getting my ass roasted (I swear if it was real life, the edges of my armor would have been singed.

That fight was basically hide behind pillars every 20 seconds to avoid being burned to death, then waiting for Marcurio to run up to the dragon like a moron so I could fire arrows into its ass.

Yep. Just a typical day.

The last encounter I had was fairly anti-climatic, mainly due to the fact I can’t remember much about it. I remember traveling near a dragon’s lair and wondering if a dragon would re-spawn there, but I didn’t see one, so I continued on my merry way.

Of course, who comes out of no where AND PRACTICALLY LANDS ON TOP OF ME? (Oh wait…he did.)

YOU GUESSED IT.

AN ANCIENT DRAGON, OF COURSE.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK OFF ALREADY.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK OFF ALREADY!

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Keep in mind this all happened within the span of two days playing, or approximately 8 hours or so. Never had I had top-level dragons just randomly drop from the sky (or never leave it…AHEM MARKARTH DRAGON) so much as I did then.

Oh yeah, and this one apparently was glowing green or something, so I think it was attacked by a Spriggan beforehand because I’ve never seen that happen before.

…So I started making some weird sub-plot in my game where someone is controlling the Ancients and they’re dead-set on killing me.

HMMMMMM.

Also happy 12/12/12, guys. 😛

Image Credits: njaall, unknown (If anyone recognizes the last image, please let me know where they’re from so I can give proper credit!).