Posts Tagged ‘The Dark Brotherhood’


The Top 10 Characters That Should Have Been Marriable, But Weren’t

April 25, 2012

First off, I apologize for the lack of updates. I’ve been sort of busy in the real world, so I haven’t actually taken a lot of time to actually sit down and play some more Skyrim. And also because I rage quit every time I die a thousand deaths with my stealth character. RAGE.

So, over the past few months, I’ve browsed various websites and forums, and talked to friends and such about marriable NPCs in Skyrim. Most people I’ve noticed actually married Aela, from the Companions. Which, of course, I have no issue with, in fact, she was one of the candidates for my first character as well. But alas, I married Marcurio, one of the NPCs with a bit of a lesser role in the game in terms of quest-wise, but I’m happy with my choice. But, apparently Bethesda missed the marker on a few of these marriage candidate NPCs. Let’s begin the list, shall we?

11. Lydia

Now, this is a special case. When the game first came out, Lydia wasn’t an option for marriage. She was for most people, their first housecarl in the game. She is awarded (heh, I guess I’m making her sound like some kind of item prize or something…XD) to the player once becoming the Thane of Whiterun. Since this is actually a part of the main quest, it isn’t really avoidable. Now, if you’re like me and my second character, I just totally left her in Dragonsreach because I never bothered to purchase Breezehome in Whiterun. For a lot of people, though, she was their first follower, and probably went on a lot of quests with them. She’s completely loyal, stays in your home in Whiterun and protects your things shall you choose to leave her behind. And, if you call on her again, she’ll be at your beck and call, ready to slay anything, be it a bandit or a dragon. After all, she is “sworn to carry your burdens”. For a lot of people, this made her perfect “waifu” material. And why not? She’s a pretty important NPC. For months, people have asked why she isn’t a marriage candidate. Apparently though, when the game was realized, the option for marriage was glitched and never showed up in the dialogue box. For PC gamers, however, this wasn’t too much of a problem as they used console commands. But, anyone on the 360 or PS3 were pretty much screwed. That was, until Bethesda released the latest patch (1.5), and now you can marry Lydia!! Yay!! (Not that I really care all that much, but I know I lot of people out there are pretty happy about that!) :3

The Real List:

10. Carlotta Valentia

To be honest, I was a bit surprised at this one. When she asks you to help her stop Mikael from sexually harassing her, I thought perhaps she’d consider me as a good person that might be appropriate for her to at least TRY to consider romantically. But, then I realized on the other hand, since she already has a kid, and she’s been married before, perhaps she just isn’t really looking for a relationship at the moment, which is fine. I guess it makes the game a bit more realistic that way.

9. Hadvar

Now, I think a lot of people would have just skipped over this guy, mainly because during the first few days of Skyrim being released, I think a lot of people just went with Ralof because he wasn’t apart of the group that was trying to cut your head off. Hadvar’s a nice guy, he seems cool enough, although I guess if you decided to side with the Stormcloaks through the whole Civil War, he’d probably be killed or something, I don’t know…I thought he was pretty decent, but to be honest, he’s a bit too much of a pussy for my tastes…:/

8. Legate Rikke

I just like her. She’s a no-nonsense take charge kind of woman, and I like that. Kind of like Aela, in a sense. She would make a good wife to the Dragonborn, the only thing is, I think she’d be one of the characters I rather not end up converting into the doting housewife. It’s just too out of character for her. It would ruin my image of her (I’m not saying she couldn’t have a tender, loving side somewhere in there…XP). I just think she belongs on the battlefield.

7. Nazir

The only reason why Nazir is on the list is because, let’s face it: he’s a badass motherfucker. Maybe it’s because he’s voiced by the same guy who did Three Dog in Fallout 3, but he’s just so laid back and fucking cool. “Hey, honey. You’re back. You must be hungry I made you some food.” Just imagine that line in his voice. JUST IMAGINE IT.

6. Any Khajiit or Bosmer

Come on, Bethesda. You can marry mer, human, Argonian, but I can’t marry a freaking Khajiit or Bosmer? What if I wanted my Khajiit character to marry a Khajiit? Why did you not include this in the game? I mean, both Kharjo and Khayla are easy options for this if they were included, and this way you’d make everyone happy. Plus people think J’zargo is awesome (which he is), and, like the point I made with Nazir, I’d just like to hear him talk. “J’zargo notices you are back from your adventure. J’zargo did not make any food for you, or clean the house. J’zargo is much more important than that. Perhaps you shall make J’zargo a sandwhich instead, hmmm?” DO IT. But, hey, maybe Khajiit don’t believe in the concept of marriage or something. But to be honest, the exclusion of Bosmer marriage just puzzles me. It’s completely bizarre. WHY?

5. Vex

Vex is a hard gal to please. She’s a member of the Thieves’ Guild and takes her job very seriously, which might be the reason why she appears to be a bit of a bitch. Which makes it a bit more fun to try to woo her. Also, Delvin should stop trying to take peaks of her while she bathes…XD

4. Sapphire

Now, Sapphire is definitely a character I’ve heard a lot of “DO WANT” for marriage. She refuses to tell you her real name, and she’s a tough cookie with a tragic past. Maybe her mistrust of men is part of the reason why you can’t pursue a relationship with her, I don’t know. I did remember reading once somewhere someone said since they couldn’t marry her, they’d leave Sapphires in her house randomly as gifts for her. D’awww.

3. Ralof

Ralof is pretty much the first character you actually meet in the game. He gives you reassuring words before your apparent upcoming death, and he guides you to help the Stormcloaks, should you choose to side with him. He seems like a nice guy, and he’s the one I went with during my first playthrough of escaping Helgen. Ralof’s another character I’ve heard a lot of want for, and he definitely gets a vote from me!

2. Brynjolf

“Lass”. ‘Nuff said.

1. Karliah

Oh my god. Karliah is another freaking badass in this game. She’s a Nightingale, soft-spoken, and just a freaking awesome thief. And she’s pretty hot, too. I’m surprised she’s not a marriage candidate. COME ON, BETHESDA! AT LEAST LET THE OPTION BE THERE AFTER YOU FINISH THE THIEVES’ GUILD QUESTLINE. fdkljgfljkhlkf I have a lady boner for her. Seriously. And I’m not even done the Thieves’ Guild questline yet. NOT EVEN (…but almost…).

And there you have it, that’s my list of characters that are, “What?! You mean I CAN’T marry them?! BALLS!!” Of course, this is just my personal opinion, feel free to share yours.


I forgot to include Irileth. Another badass. But to be honest, I think she has a thing going on with Jarl Balgruuf. But that’s just my opinion.

Special Mentions: Every other hotstuff in the game I can’t remember. Apparently a lot of people like Astrid, Cicero, Skjor, Ancano (?!), etc.. But those you can’t marry for a pretty good reason (quest related, etc). Ondolemar (LOL), Balgruuf… Also that cool Orc follower, that I can’t remember his name. Maybe he is actually good for marriage…I should check…

Image Credits: UESP Wiki

Was there an NPC you wanted to marry, and were disappointed to find out you couldn’t? Who was it? Did you marry a different NPC instead?


Hail Sithis!

March 1, 2012

“What is life’s greatest illusion?” …Uh, the one were you saw the lady in half? DOES ANYONE ELSE NOT LOVE THE DOOR’S DARK WHISPER-Y VOICE?

So, I just finished the Dark Brotherhood questline this week. It’s been pretty fun (and a bit annoying annoying at times), I’ve definitely learned a few tricks to be more “stealth-like” and how to carry out the perfect assassination.

…I’ve also learned how quickly shit can hit the fan.

The following contains spoilers for the entire Dark Brotherhood questline.

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Mini Post: 50 Armed Assassins, 5 Dragons, 3 Broken Quests, 2 Daedra Princes and 1 Magic Ninja later…

February 19, 2012

Thought I’d just give a little update here.

So, I managed to break…3 quests in my second playthrough (with my Khajiit assassin character). Two rather unimportant things, and one quest I actually fixed, but yeah, now I actually know why people find these things so annoying.

While I was waiting for nightfall for a certain Civil War quest, I decided to visit Winterhold and see if I could find someone selling some illusion spells. Well…apparently you don’t get any if you don’t join the College. So, reluctant as I was, I did the test to gain entry, and met with Mirabelle Ervine, who was going to give me a tour of the place.

Then out of nowhere, our friends the dovah appeared out of nowhere and attacked. All the mages went nuts, and the dragon went down pretty easily. With a sigh, I turned back to Mirabelle.

And this happened.

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Glutton for Punishment

February 12, 2012

It was a cold winter night, as I approached the Imperial soldiers at our rendezvous-point upon my steed Shadowmere. I dismounted, and Lydia finally caught up to join us. We were about to storm into Fort Dunstad.

For the Empire! (Nevermind the fact I'm in the Dark Brotherhood and well upon my way to ultimately assassinate the Emperor...Oh, the irony!)

We took out the archers with ease, and stormed into the battle grounds. The fight was bloody, blades flying from both Stormcloaks and Imperials.

Sure, pull out your mace when I get close. Just stand still and take it, cheater.

When it finally was all over, I started looting the bodies for arrows and helmets before I skipped over to find Lydia, so she could be my storage container.

“Lydia? Where’d you go?” I called as the Imperials patrolled their newly acquired fort.


And right there, between a dead Imperial and a dead Stormcloak, was a very dead Lydia.

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The Spectral Assassin & I

February 9, 2012

…Do not get along at all.


Don’t get me wrong, he’s dreadfully useful, maybe too much so, since if I don’t get to ambush someone before they see me, I’ll need some backup because I’m not exactly a tank.

My Khajiit character just can’t stand him.

He talks…and talks…and talks…and talks some more. With a loud booming spectral voice, it gets especially annoying when talking to other NPCs, because he seems to be FIVE TIMES LOUDER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

Honestly, if he stopped saying the same things over and over every 30 seconds I wouldn’t mind him at all.

Any of this sound familiar?

“My Listener?”
“Lead and I will follow…Child of Darkness.”
“We are bonded now, you and I. Joined by the powers of the Void.”


Seriously, what happened, man? You used to be awesome in Oblivion…mainly because you didn’t really talk so much. Urgh.

Random NPC: “Oh, have you visited Morthal? I heard that this–”

Spectral Assassin: “In life, I was but a Speaker for the Dark Brotherhood, but you have been named Listener. There is no higher honor.”

Random NPC: “…when the sunsets. Strange, huh?”

Me: “…Wut.”

Or…sneaking around in the dungeon. I usually focus on listening for any signs of movement or life.

Me: (sneak, sneak)

Spectral Assassin: “Perhaps we should find a random stranger to murder… practice does make perfect.”

Bandit: “O HALLO THAR!!” (slice)

Me: (dies)

I wish there was a way to dismiss him, other than him dying. I smacked him around with my blades a few times before he became aggro in the Winking Skeever, so I had to stand on the bed and just shoot lighting up his ass. Geez.

And then after all that…I find out I broke a rule in the Dark Brotherhood and now have to pay 500 gold?! GODDAMN IT, LUCIEN!!

At least he’s as slow as other followers. So when I get on Shadowmere I usually just leave him behind…unfortunately then, when I actually DO need him…he’s nowhere to be found.

…And then he shows up AFTER I kiled whatever ambushed us.


I sound like a big complainer, maybe I am. But hey.

Other than that though, the Dark Brotherhood’s questline is pretty fun so far.  Maybe I’ll write my thoughts about it next time.

Spectral Assassin: “I live…again!”


Image Credit: UESP Wiki


The Most Annoying NPC of Skyrim

February 5, 2012

You see…I was going to make a list of the top 10 most annoying NPCs I’ve ever come across…but somehow…nine of them seemed rather trival compared to who got top spot (…Lydia came pretty close…).

This character is so annoying.







Oh my god, I have never encountered such an annoying voice in a game all my life. I wish their was a dialogue option for, “Please, Cicero…Shut the fuck up.”

Geez, who exactly did they hire to voice this guy? It’s brilliant, suits the character perfectly. Maybe a little too perfectly, since his voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I rather listen to a Hagraven have sex with a troll then hear him talk. So kudos for Bethesda for making such a goddamn annoying character.

Someone, along with the “Make the Dogs Bark Less”, should make a “Mute Cicero” mod. Like, holy shit.

(Maybe I would feel a bit better if I could put that execution bag over his head, maybe that’ll muffle his incessant talking a little…? …Geez, having to get too close for comfort with the Night Mother and have to listen to him ramble…Wow.)

Shadowmere will make it alllll worth it…


Image Credit: The Elder Scrolls Wiki