Archive for December, 2012

h1

Revenge of the Ancients

December 12, 2012
tumblr_m51y72Qz9D1rxppz8o2_1280

Image Credit: njaall.tumblr.com

So during my usual adventuring through the mystical province of Skyrim, I managed to collect enough junk to almost be over-encumbered, so I headed back to my home in the mountains, my stone house in Markarth. I no longer kept any followers, mainly because J’Zargo died on me like seventy times during a pretty weak bandit attack, so I kind of got tired of picking up after dead people so I basically had to haul ass by myself. I mean, now I was pretty much a target without any decoys to back me up, but hey, it’s not like they were much use to me anymore.

So anyway, back to traveling back to Markarth, I was just outside the city and riding up on my trusty steed. I dismounted by the stables and casually walked up to the gate.

ROOOOOAAARRR

The ground shook violently and a dark shadow swooped overhead. I looked up to see a dragon–just not ANY dragon, an Ancient dragon, so I brought out my soon-to-be-retired glass bow, Odin, and readied it as I waited for the dragon to fly closer again.

He didn’t.

Basically he flew around the mountains for 10 minutes while I fruitlessly tried to fire arrows into his scaly hide.

Getting kind of dizzy spinning around for no good reason, I said “fuck it” and went into the city. And went back out again.

Roar, dragon.

Still didn’t come down.

Fuck.

Back into the city. He’s still roaring.

Outside. Dragonrend.

Doesn’t even hit him.

So I went to go drop off my junk loot and came back out later.

He still didn’t come down.

I said, fuck this, and basically turned off the XBOX in disappointment and called it a night.

I loaded it up the next day and the bitch finally landed, breathing fire in my face.

Okay, bitch. Now it’s time to eat some arrows. Thanks for finally landing, fucking finally.

He took a bite out my head and tossed me a like a rag doll.

…Fuck me.

A little while later, running around in the College of Winterhold, trying to do the Conjuration quest for the unbound Daedra thing so I could make my epic bow, I was running between buildings to grab things. After completing the quest and getting to keep the Sigil Stone, I left the Hall of Countenance with Marcurio (for some reason I can’t remember I brought him along as my pack mule). Now, sometimes during the loading screens that can take upwards of 2 minutes on a bad day, I go grab a glass of water and leave the game, so when I come back it would be finished loading and I could just resume play as soon as I returned.

Big.

Big.

Mistake.

So I come back and basically everyone outside the College is going fucking nuts. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on, but I guess turning my character 90 degrees right into the face of an Ancient Dragon certainly gave me a clue. I guess it was due to reflexes or maybe the fact Marcurio distracted the big brute that I practically dived behind a stone pillar and barely escaped getting my ass roasted (I swear if it was real life, the edges of my armor would have been singed.

That fight was basically hide behind pillars every 20 seconds to avoid being burned to death, then waiting for Marcurio to run up to the dragon like a moron so I could fire arrows into its ass.

Yep. Just a typical day.

The last encounter I had was fairly anti-climatic, mainly due to the fact I can’t remember much about it. I remember traveling near a dragon’s lair and wondering if a dragon would re-spawn there, but I didn’t see one, so I continued on my merry way.

Of course, who comes out of no where AND PRACTICALLY LANDS ON TOP OF ME? (Oh wait…he did.)

YOU GUESSED IT.

AN ANCIENT DRAGON, OF COURSE.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK OFF ALREADY.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK OFF ALREADY!

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Keep in mind this all happened within the span of two days playing, or approximately 8 hours or so. Never had I had top-level dragons just randomly drop from the sky (or never leave it…AHEM MARKARTH DRAGON) so much as I did then.

Oh yeah, and this one apparently was glowing green or something, so I think it was attacked by a Spriggan beforehand because I’ve never seen that happen before.

…So I started making some weird sub-plot in my game where someone is controlling the Ancients and they’re dead-set on killing me.

HMMMMMM.

Also happy 12/12/12, guys. 😛

Image Credits: njaall, unknown (If anyone recognizes the last image, please let me know where they’re from so I can give proper credit!).

h1

Let That Arrow Fly

December 1, 2012
3248842-1324096132

Image Credit: DralelM @ SkyrimNexus

So for the past week or so I’ve been in a bit of a friendly challenge with my boyfriend. Basically, he has a bow in his game for his Dunmer Nightingale. He showed it for me back before he stopped playing, and I was amazed by the amount of damage it did. Back then, my bow probably topped at 43, if I was lucky.

He named his bow Windforce.

Holy shit.

Since then I’ve realized there’s plenty of cheats and exploits to make your bow do crazy amounts of damage, upwards of a million or more. But, to do that completely legit, without the Falmer helmet glitch, without console commands, without anything like that.

Brace yourself for numbers and shit no one cares about.

I upped my conjuration skill to 90, so I could get to the Atronach Forge and make a Daedric bow. I also got a +25% smithing bracers from the random crafting, so that was a plus. Then I filled the smithing perk tree.

Basically what I did was an endless cycle of make potions to raise enchanting level—>level up enchant item with fortify alchemy or smithing—>make potions to raise smithing or enchanting—>improve weapon or armor—>get lots of shit that fortified archery.

What I ended up with for smithing enchantments were 25%, 25%, 20%, 19% + 71% fortify smithing potion.

What I had for archery enchantments were 40%, 29%, 30%, 30% + 81% fortify marksmanship potion.

Yet this still wasn’t enough. The fuck was I missing?

Then, after I turned off the XBOX I went to bed thinking, “…I never maxed out Overdraw, did I…?”

…Damn it.

ME. WHO PLAYS WITH A BOW 90% OF THE TIME. HOW COULD I MISS THIS?!?!

So the next day I did that so it was double damage, then upped Alchemy to 60%, which also took forever, even after using the Ognum Infinium to level up (ran out of perks for it so I really need to level, plus upping it from 63 to 80 is kind of a pain in the ass and takes forever).

I set to work. First, I made the potions to fortify enchanting, got that up to 21%. Then I enchanted items to fortify alchemy. Then I made more potions to fortify enchanting. Then I enchanted items to do fortify smithing. And I made a few fortify marksman potions, too.

By the way, my archery, smithing and enchanting are all at 100. Alchemy is only 63.

Basically the enchanted items  ended up like this:

Alchemy: 20%/20%/19%/19%
Enchanting potion: 21%
Smithing: 25%/25%/20%/19%
Smithing potion: 86%
Archery: 40%/31%/31%/31%
Archery potion: 86%

So taking my bow to Skyforge (I got so tired of walking back and forth at Markarth), I put on my smithing equipment and drank the potion, and set to work.

Once the bow was fully upgraded, I dawned my archery equipment and drank the marksman potion. I held my breath, and checked the numbers…

This is what I ended up with.

...Fuck!

…Fuck!

…What.

How…

WHY?!?!

WHY IS IT STILL NOT ENOUGH!?!?

Again, I figure if I find better enchanted equipment or raise my alchemy level to max it would probably kick Windforce’s ass, but I already spent hours doing this so really, what’s the point?

You win. I admit defeat. Windforce is the superior bow…

…For now. >:D

…In the meantime what should I name and enchant my badass bow? 😀