Posts Tagged ‘Thieves’ Guild’

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The Top 10 Characters That Should Have Been Marriable, But Weren’t

April 25, 2012

First off, I apologize for the lack of updates. I’ve been sort of busy in the real world, so I haven’t actually taken a lot of time to actually sit down and play some more Skyrim. And also because I rage quit every time I die a thousand deaths with my stealth character. RAGE.

So, over the past few months, I’ve browsed various websites and forums, and talked to friends and such about marriable NPCs in Skyrim. Most people I’ve noticed actually married Aela, from the Companions. Which, of course, I have no issue with, in fact, she was one of the candidates for my first character as well. But alas, I married Marcurio, one of the NPCs with a bit of a lesser role in the game in terms of quest-wise, but I’m happy with my choice. But, apparently Bethesda missed the marker on a few of these marriage candidate NPCs. Let’s begin the list, shall we?

11. Lydia

Now, this is a special case. When the game first came out, Lydia wasn’t an option for marriage. She was for most people, their first housecarl in the game. She is awarded (heh, I guess I’m making her sound like some kind of item prize or something…XD) to the player once becoming the Thane of Whiterun. Since this is actually a part of the main quest, it isn’t really avoidable. Now, if you’re like me and my second character, I just totally left her in Dragonsreach because I never bothered to purchase Breezehome in Whiterun. For a lot of people, though, she was their first follower, and probably went on a lot of quests with them. She’s completely loyal, stays in your home in Whiterun and protects your things shall you choose to leave her behind. And, if you call on her again, she’ll be at your beck and call, ready to slay anything, be it a bandit or a dragon. After all, she is “sworn to carry your burdens”. For a lot of people, this made her perfect “waifu” material. And why not? She’s a pretty important NPC. For months, people have asked why she isn’t a marriage candidate. Apparently though, when the game was realized, the option for marriage was glitched and never showed up in the dialogue box. For PC gamers, however, this wasn’t too much of a problem as they used console commands. But, anyone on the 360 or PS3 were pretty much screwed. That was, until Bethesda released the latest patch (1.5), and now you can marry Lydia!! Yay!! (Not that I really care all that much, but I know I lot of people out there are pretty happy about that!) :3

The Real List:

10. Carlotta Valentia

To be honest, I was a bit surprised at this one. When she asks you to help her stop Mikael from sexually harassing her, I thought perhaps she’d consider me as a good person that might be appropriate for her to at least TRY to consider romantically. But, then I realized on the other hand, since she already has a kid, and she’s been married before, perhaps she just isn’t really looking for a relationship at the moment, which is fine. I guess it makes the game a bit more realistic that way.

9. Hadvar

Now, I think a lot of people would have just skipped over this guy, mainly because during the first few days of Skyrim being released, I think a lot of people just went with Ralof because he wasn’t apart of the group that was trying to cut your head off. Hadvar’s a nice guy, he seems cool enough, although I guess if you decided to side with the Stormcloaks through the whole Civil War, he’d probably be killed or something, I don’t know…I thought he was pretty decent, but to be honest, he’s a bit too much of a pussy for my tastes…:/

8. Legate Rikke

I just like her. She’s a no-nonsense take charge kind of woman, and I like that. Kind of like Aela, in a sense. She would make a good wife to the Dragonborn, the only thing is, I think she’d be one of the characters I rather not end up converting into the doting housewife. It’s just too out of character for her. It would ruin my image of her (I’m not saying she couldn’t have a tender, loving side somewhere in there…XP). I just think she belongs on the battlefield.

7. Nazir

The only reason why Nazir is on the list is because, let’s face it: he’s a badass motherfucker. Maybe it’s because he’s voiced by the same guy who did Three Dog in Fallout 3, but he’s just so laid back and fucking cool. “Hey, honey. You’re back. You must be hungry I made you some food.” Just imagine that line in his voice. JUST IMAGINE IT.

6. Any Khajiit or Bosmer

Come on, Bethesda. You can marry mer, human, Argonian, but I can’t marry a freaking Khajiit or Bosmer? What if I wanted my Khajiit character to marry a Khajiit? Why did you not include this in the game? I mean, both Kharjo and Khayla are easy options for this if they were included, and this way you’d make everyone happy. Plus people think J’zargo is awesome (which he is), and, like the point I made with Nazir, I’d just like to hear him talk. “J’zargo notices you are back from your adventure. J’zargo did not make any food for you, or clean the house. J’zargo is much more important than that. Perhaps you shall make J’zargo a sandwhich instead, hmmm?” DO IT. But, hey, maybe Khajiit don’t believe in the concept of marriage or something. But to be honest, the exclusion of Bosmer marriage just puzzles me. It’s completely bizarre. WHY?

5. Vex

Vex is a hard gal to please. She’s a member of the Thieves’ Guild and takes her job very seriously, which might be the reason why she appears to be a bit of a bitch. Which makes it a bit more fun to try to woo her. Also, Delvin should stop trying to take peaks of her while she bathes…XD

4. Sapphire

Now, Sapphire is definitely a character I’ve heard a lot of “DO WANT” for marriage. She refuses to tell you her real name, and she’s a tough cookie with a tragic past. Maybe her mistrust of men is part of the reason why you can’t pursue a relationship with her, I don’t know. I did remember reading once somewhere someone said since they couldn’t marry her, they’d leave Sapphires in her house randomly as gifts for her. D’awww.

3. Ralof

Ralof is pretty much the first character you actually meet in the game. He gives you reassuring words before your apparent upcoming death, and he guides you to help the Stormcloaks, should you choose to side with him. He seems like a nice guy, and he’s the one I went with during my first playthrough of escaping Helgen. Ralof’s another character I’ve heard a lot of want for, and he definitely gets a vote from me!

2. Brynjolf

“Lass”. ‘Nuff said.

1. Karliah

Oh my god. Karliah is another freaking badass in this game. She’s a Nightingale, soft-spoken, and just a freaking awesome thief. And she’s pretty hot, too. I’m surprised she’s not a marriage candidate. COME ON, BETHESDA! AT LEAST LET THE OPTION BE THERE AFTER YOU FINISH THE THIEVES’ GUILD QUESTLINE. fdkljgfljkhlkf I have a lady boner for her. Seriously. And I’m not even done the Thieves’ Guild questline yet. NOT EVEN (…but almost…).

And there you have it, that’s my list of characters that are, “What?! You mean I CAN’T marry them?! BALLS!!” Of course, this is just my personal opinion, feel free to share yours.

BONUS:

I forgot to include Irileth. Another badass. But to be honest, I think she has a thing going on with Jarl Balgruuf. But that’s just my opinion.

Special Mentions: Every other hotstuff in the game I can’t remember. Apparently a lot of people like Astrid, Cicero, Skjor, Ancano (?!), etc.. But those you can’t marry for a pretty good reason (quest related, etc). Ondolemar (LOL), Balgruuf… Also that cool Orc follower, that I can’t remember his name. Maybe he is actually good for marriage…I should check…

Image Credits: UESP Wiki

Was there an NPC you wanted to marry, and were disappointed to find out you couldn’t? Who was it? Did you marry a different NPC instead?

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Thievery & You

February 11, 2012

Cheese, cheese, cheese. I love cheese. Cheese for me and none for you!

I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a button masher. I get impatient to get quests to move on quickly if I’m caught up in the middle of the action. Which, sometimes, equals accidental thievery.

For example, I’ll walk into a store, any store really, doesn’t matter if it’s Skyrim or Oblivion. The storekeeper greets me with a hello (or an insult, depending on who it is exactly), and asks what I’d like today. I run up to his table and press “A”.

Cup has been added to your inventory.

“GUARDS!! THIEF!!” He screams bloody murder.

Wait, what?!

You are over-encumbered.

“I’M SORRY!!” I scream, throwing the cup across the room and a few extra cheap items that I didn’t know I had or needed in hopes of forgiveness. “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!”

“STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!”

Fack.

And all the items I meant to steal get taken away from me as well. ALL BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY  GRABBED A CUP, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I GAVE BACK AS SOON AS I REALIZED.

Of course, that obviously isn’t good enough and you either pay the court a fine or rot in jail.

You know, shopkeepers, maybe it would be a lot more helpful IF YOU DIDN’T STACK ALL YOUR SHIT ON THE COUNTER IN FRONT OF YOU, SO I CAN ACTUALLY CLICK ON YOU AND NOT THAT SHIT ASS IRON DAGGER.

Also…I wasn’t aware it was customary for shop owners to leave their gold lying around everywhere. I mean, really?! And that’s like the EASIEST shit to take, because gold is gold and guards can’t tell the difference between your gold and your recently “acquired” gold.

(Also, is it safe if you store your stolen stash on your follower? Do they take it off of him/her as well when you get arrested…?)

So, yeah.

And I’m not just talking about The Elder Scrolls series either, this shit happens in other Bethesda games, too (does it happen in Morrowind also? I’ve never played it, help me out here!). Fallout 3 and New Vegas…

In the wasteland, you steal shit, you get your head blown off. That’s it, no questions asked. There are no guards, at least, none that I can remember in Fallout 3, except maybe Rivet City (had to look up the name, it’s been a long time since I’ve played, heh), and in New Vegas, on the strip…and even then, they just blow your head off. So either way, you end up with your brains splattered against the wall.

BUT…

When I do want to steal, I find the stores in Skyrim to be absolutely pathetic. I break in, and find there’s hardly anything really WORTH taking and bringing all the way back to Riften to sell to the fence. At least, in Whiterun it’s been like that…I’ll have to try other places later.

Oblivion was nice for stealing…well, the jewelry store was, anyway. 😀

Plus, it always helps having Detect Life when you’re a thief, so you know if someone’s coming and if you’re about to get busted or not. (Or, alternatively, in Skyrim, just do the ol’ “bucket on the head” thing. Usually works, unless they have a magic force field around there head that sends it flying…what? It did happen… Just make sure not to accidentlly take the bucket instead of carrying it.)

Also fuck those guard dogs in Imperial City.

Back to Skyrim…

I did break into that alchemy dealer in Whiterun a few days ago, and snuck around as a cat burglar, stealthy as can be, raided all the ingredients (making potions from stolen items doesn’t make the potion counted as stolen, yay!) and potions I could carry. And then, as I’m about to grab some ice wraith teeth and a potion of minor healing I hear…

“We sell all kinds of alchemy ingredients and agents!”

Spinning around as quick as I can, I scanned the floor for any movement. Nothing. Then I realized the crazy bitch was talking to herself on the second floor. So I continued to steal, all the while listening to her brag about her shop full of items.

Not anymore, sister, not anymore!

Also, sorry if I stole a goddamn cheese wheel, Ulfric. The sweetroll wasn’t considered stolen, so I thought the cheese was okay, too. I guess you just really like your cheese, huh? Regardless, I’m not paying a fine, nor going to jail, because I have about 40 other stolen cheese wheels (among other things), and I don’t want to put the effort to get them back from you guys. See ya!!

“Let me guess…someone stole your sweetroll.”

Nah, nope. I do the sweetrolling stealing around here, baby.

Delicious.

Image Credit: Unknown source.

By the way, I suck at pickpocketing. Stupid keys for stupid doors that need the stupid key. Stupid… (grumbles)

Next Post: Glutton for Punishment