Posts Tagged ‘Cyrodiil’

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Thievery & You

February 11, 2012

Cheese, cheese, cheese. I love cheese. Cheese for me and none for you!

I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a button masher. I get impatient to get quests to move on quickly if I’m caught up in the middle of the action. Which, sometimes, equals accidental thievery.

For example, I’ll walk into a store, any store really, doesn’t matter if it’s Skyrim or Oblivion. The storekeeper greets me with a hello (or an insult, depending on who it is exactly), and asks what I’d like today. I run up to his table and press “A”.

Cup has been added to your inventory.

“GUARDS!! THIEF!!” He screams bloody murder.

Wait, what?!

You are over-encumbered.

“I’M SORRY!!” I scream, throwing the cup across the room and a few extra cheap items that I didn’t know I had or needed in hopes of forgiveness. “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!”

“STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!”

Fack.

And all the items I meant to steal get taken away from me as well. ALL BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY  GRABBED A CUP, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I GAVE BACK AS SOON AS I REALIZED.

Of course, that obviously isn’t good enough and you either pay the court a fine or rot in jail.

You know, shopkeepers, maybe it would be a lot more helpful IF YOU DIDN’T STACK ALL YOUR SHIT ON THE COUNTER IN FRONT OF YOU, SO I CAN ACTUALLY CLICK ON YOU AND NOT THAT SHIT ASS IRON DAGGER.

Also…I wasn’t aware it was customary for shop owners to leave their gold lying around everywhere. I mean, really?! And that’s like the EASIEST shit to take, because gold is gold and guards can’t tell the difference between your gold and your recently “acquired” gold.

(Also, is it safe if you store your stolen stash on your follower? Do they take it off of him/her as well when you get arrested…?)

So, yeah.

And I’m not just talking about The Elder Scrolls series either, this shit happens in other Bethesda games, too (does it happen in Morrowind also? I’ve never played it, help me out here!). Fallout 3 and New Vegas…

In the wasteland, you steal shit, you get your head blown off. That’s it, no questions asked. There are no guards, at least, none that I can remember in Fallout 3, except maybe Rivet City (had to look up the name, it’s been a long time since I’ve played, heh), and in New Vegas, on the strip…and even then, they just blow your head off. So either way, you end up with your brains splattered against the wall.

BUT…

When I do want to steal, I find the stores in Skyrim to be absolutely pathetic. I break in, and find there’s hardly anything really WORTH taking and bringing all the way back to Riften to sell to the fence. At least, in Whiterun it’s been like that…I’ll have to try other places later.

Oblivion was nice for stealing…well, the jewelry store was, anyway. 😀

Plus, it always helps having Detect Life when you’re a thief, so you know if someone’s coming and if you’re about to get busted or not. (Or, alternatively, in Skyrim, just do the ol’ “bucket on the head” thing. Usually works, unless they have a magic force field around there head that sends it flying…what? It did happen… Just make sure not to accidentlly take the bucket instead of carrying it.)

Also fuck those guard dogs in Imperial City.

Back to Skyrim…

I did break into that alchemy dealer in Whiterun a few days ago, and snuck around as a cat burglar, stealthy as can be, raided all the ingredients (making potions from stolen items doesn’t make the potion counted as stolen, yay!) and potions I could carry. And then, as I’m about to grab some ice wraith teeth and a potion of minor healing I hear…

“We sell all kinds of alchemy ingredients and agents!”

Spinning around as quick as I can, I scanned the floor for any movement. Nothing. Then I realized the crazy bitch was talking to herself on the second floor. So I continued to steal, all the while listening to her brag about her shop full of items.

Not anymore, sister, not anymore!

Also, sorry if I stole a goddamn cheese wheel, Ulfric. The sweetroll wasn’t considered stolen, so I thought the cheese was okay, too. I guess you just really like your cheese, huh? Regardless, I’m not paying a fine, nor going to jail, because I have about 40 other stolen cheese wheels (among other things), and I don’t want to put the effort to get them back from you guys. See ya!!

“Let me guess…someone stole your sweetroll.”

Nah, nope. I do the sweetrolling stealing around here, baby.

Delicious.

Image Credit: Unknown source.

By the way, I suck at pickpocketing. Stupid keys for stupid doors that need the stupid key. Stupid… (grumbles)

Next Post: Glutton for Punishment

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“Wait…I know you.”

February 10, 2012

...Shit. Nope, no you don't...

Oh, guards.

At least, unlike in Oblivion, they give you some warning. I remember so many times, I’d just rob shit in Cyrodiil, run away, ride away on Shadowmere on my merry way, and then, all of a sudden…

(camera whips away)

“STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!!”

"You violated my mother."

Oh sh–

And, in Oblivion, it was literally kinda almost impossible to do anything in any of the major cities, because these guys would just arrest your shit right on sight. Also, they seem pretty observant…or I’m just a terrible opportunist thief.

(Alas, I am also pretty bad at lockpicking…at least, when escaping jail. FFFFUUUU–)

It’s not like they’re exactly hard to sneak by or anything…they just seem to pop out of nowhere when you least expect it, like they’re watching over your shoulder or something and they just know, almost as if they can smell your stolen goods. And at least it’s fairly easy to get back your stolen shit out of those “evidence” chests. Hurrah.

Skyrim, it’s a tad different.

You get a bounty, and the guards stop you and ask you to either pay it, or serve your time. Now, you can do those two things, or, if you’re like me who tends to save up more stolen goods than you should be…you can just run. Fast. Away. Go. GO!

(Also, having a mount helps to make a faster getaway. Yay, mounts!!) 😀

…You come back later, totally forgetting about said bounty and one of these two things happen.

1) They kind of walk by you and pause with the, “Wait…I know you.”

or,

2) Just attack you on sight, if you’re bounty’s high enough.

Whenever Option 1 happens, I just run from them. XD I learned my lesson the first time when I went to talk to them after they said it, vainly thinking they meant they recognized my awesomness as Thane of Whiterun, or perhaps the fact that I’m Dragonborn! 😀

Me: “Yeeeess?”

Guard: “There’s a warrant out for your arrest…”

Me: “Faaack.”

And then you can just run away and repeat the cycle all over again. Huzzah.

Getting your stuff back in Skyrim isn’t exactly hard either, which is nice. Just be like…”Bitch, I’m SUPPOSED to be here,” and the guards are like, “Okay, cool”, which is just basically:

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

(…But they seem like they do, because I had no idea they’d actually go through the trouble of following me into a dungeon of all things…geez, when are you going to call it quits already?!)

As quoted by my good pub friend…

"The security in Whiterun is terrible. Shameful, is what it is."

Amen, brother. Amen.

Sinmir: (clap, clap)

Guard: “You have commited crimes against Skyrim and her people…”

…Shit.

Image Credits: The Elder Scrolls Wiki, UESP Wiki

(I’ll edit this later to add more clarity. Until then…)

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Oblivion – My First Elder Scrolls Experience

January 31, 2012

When I picked up Oblivion again for the 360 after a long point of leaving it to collect dust (see my introduction post here for more information), I honestly couldn’t remember why I chose Khajiit to play as my first character. In these games, I usually play as female, and I just lazily set my name as “Ren”. I planned on making this playthrough a thief/warrior, but it ended up as a jack-of-all-trades kind of deal (which, usually happens on my first run). And, first thing’s first (and continuing that trend in Skyrim), I stole a horse as soon as I got through that awfully long and boring intro and out into the world of Cyrodiil. I joined every single guild, I robbed what I could to sell to Ongar, and originally I was going to be a good character, but being convinced to get Shadowmere, that didn’t last long (although, admittedly, I kind of lazied around after obtaining her, heh). I put 61 hours into this playthrough, without even going into Kvatch’s Oblivion gate.

Then, Steam had a sale going on for Oblivion: GOTY Edition. For a mere $5, I could have the game on my PC, plus all the DLC included. My friend Hitomi and immediately jumped on this deal and I started playing on the PC. Not before I heavily modded it, of course.

The problem with character creation in the beginning of the game is how close your face is to the damn camera. I had the opposite issue with Fallout. At least with the multiple mods I downloaded, I could actually make a humanoid character that was relatively pleasing to the eyes. But, as with the “face-too-close-to-the-camera” issue, I happened to make the character’s face way too pale, or just an odd colour in contrast with the rest of the body.

The exact issue as mentioned above, and only noticed after spending a lot of time trying to make a good looking character.

(I also realize this is a first-person game, but hey…it’s kinda fun…)

After a few false starts, I finally managed to create a character I actually liked, and didn’t have the face/body issue. I named her Ezra.

Ezra mostly focused in archery, a bit of sword-wielding, magic and alchemy…basically just like my first character, minus the murdering rampages. I quickly clocked in 61 hours, having fun killing Daedra and the like…sniping people with my arrows, and just selling my potions for lots of cash (thanks to the Wizard Tower plug-in, hooray for personal garden!!). I began to collect horses shortly after, not sure exactly why, since I had my perfectly good demon-horse summons.

Ezra, with demon horse summon "Spike", on top of Wizard's Tower.

I tried to play the PC version a bit differently from the 360’s, and to be honest, playing both have been quite unique. The only issue I had with the PC version was, despite fast loading times, the game seems to crash randomly for me all the time. Yes, even without all the mods installed. So I have to quicksave often. It’s different from the console, as the gaming community, thanks to their mods, add their own unique flavour to the game that wasn’t present in the vanilla version (not to say Oblivion on its own isn’t very good, quite the opposite, in fact).

I hope to finish the game (well, the main questline…or any questline for that matter, anyway…) sometime soon. as soon I can drag myself away from Skyrim long enough. 😀

Next Post: I AM AN APPRENTICE WIZARD, NOT A PACK MULE!