Archive for February, 2012


Mini Post: 50 Armed Assassins, 5 Dragons, 3 Broken Quests, 2 Daedra Princes and 1 Magic Ninja later…

February 19, 2012

Thought I’d just give a little update here.

So, I managed to break…3 quests in my second playthrough (with my Khajiit assassin character). Two rather unimportant things, and one quest I actually fixed, but yeah, now I actually know why people find these things so annoying.

While I was waiting for nightfall for a certain Civil War quest, I decided to visit Winterhold and see if I could find someone selling some illusion spells. Well…apparently you don’t get any if you don’t join the College. So, reluctant as I was, I did the test to gain entry, and met with Mirabelle Ervine, who was going to give me a tour of the place.

Then out of nowhere, our friends the dovah appeared out of nowhere and attacked. All the mages went nuts, and the dragon went down pretty easily. With a sigh, I turned back to Mirabelle.

And this happened.

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A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

February 14, 2012

From the one quest in Oblivion I didn’t do…but I thought it was appropriate for this post.

Since it’s Valentine’s Day today, and I’m bored, I figure’d I’d talk a bit about love in some Bethesda games, and the interesting points about them. Yes, there is love there, not the love of killing, or stealing, no, I mean actual person-loves-another-person (or themselves) kind of love.

Minor Spoilers for Oblivion, Skyrim, Fallout 3, and Fallout: New Vegas.

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Dovah Frunt, Kotin Strunmah

February 13, 2012

Oh dragons, you lovely dovah, you. You always show up at the worst times, insult me, then bite my head off and toss me away like a ragdoll. Oh dragons, you’re the best.

Is there a shout for, “FUCK OFF!”? XD

I swear, everytime Alduin talks to my Dovahkiin, it always feels insulting even though I usually have no idea what he’s really saying. So I say, “Back up yours, dragon breath!” Ha! That’ll teach him.

…Or he can just summon meteors and not give a fuck, either or.

I haven’t had many dragon glitches in my…200 hours? of Skyrim so far. No, dragons randomly flying away in the middle of battle don’t really count. I like to think of them as chickens and I try to chase them, but they fly, so they cheat and get away. Thanks, stupid dragon. I wasted like 50 arrows on you.

Anyway, here’s some of the issues and odd moments I’ve come across:

Surprise! Dragon attack! Mmmm, delicious Dovahkiin…OM NOM NOM NOM!!

Once, I was near a mine–perhaps it was Darkwater Crossing, I can’t remember–I was on a hunt for a pickaxe because I recently found some silver ore somewhere. Anyway, as soon as I fast traveled there with Marcurio (this was my first character), I heard a roar and thought, yeah, bring it on!

So a dragon arrives, lands on a house and starts breathing fire everywhere. No big deal.

Until another roar.


So, I ended up with a lot of dragon bones and scales when I was finished, funny thing was they both died right on top of each other. So it was just a pile of dragon skeletons! XD

Afterwords, I finally got my pickaxe and set out aways to check out the area.

…And a Blood Dragon landed right in front of me.



After I killed him, me and Marcurio had wayy to many dragon bones to carry. XD

Also, there’s the “Surprise! Peak-a-boo!” dragon that’s just a tease, shows up then disappears, shows up at the same place later, and flies away, etc. I had this problem with a Blood Dragon outside of Riften for a long time…it always seems to be those damn Blood Dragons!!

Then more recently, the same thing happened (ironically), at the Dragon Bridge. The dragon killed me twice, and the third fast travel there, he flew around and roared a bit, then he left. I guess he didn’t like the rain or something…

For the very first dragon fight in the game, I had a dragon who suddenly decided to fly very, very slowly, literally maybe more like 75% slower than it should be. It certainly liked the hang time it had doing a nose dive, and breathing fire everywhere. Made it really easy to shoot though, but it looked really weird when he started roaring.

The rest of this post contains moderate spoilers for the Main Quest. If you haven’t gotten past The Throat of the World quest, and don’t want to get spoiled…I wouldn’t read anymore. Plus it also contains a few end-game spoilers, too.

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Glutton for Punishment

February 12, 2012

It was a cold winter night, as I approached the Imperial soldiers at our rendezvous-point upon my steed Shadowmere. I dismounted, and Lydia finally caught up to join us. We were about to storm into Fort Dunstad.

For the Empire! (Nevermind the fact I'm in the Dark Brotherhood and well upon my way to ultimately assassinate the Emperor...Oh, the irony!)

We took out the archers with ease, and stormed into the battle grounds. The fight was bloody, blades flying from both Stormcloaks and Imperials.

Sure, pull out your mace when I get close. Just stand still and take it, cheater.

When it finally was all over, I started looting the bodies for arrows and helmets before I skipped over to find Lydia, so she could be my storage container.

“Lydia? Where’d you go?” I called as the Imperials patrolled their newly acquired fort.


And right there, between a dead Imperial and a dead Stormcloak, was a very dead Lydia.

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Thievery & You

February 11, 2012

Cheese, cheese, cheese. I love cheese. Cheese for me and none for you!

I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a button masher. I get impatient to get quests to move on quickly if I’m caught up in the middle of the action. Which, sometimes, equals accidental thievery.

For example, I’ll walk into a store, any store really, doesn’t matter if it’s Skyrim or Oblivion. The storekeeper greets me with a hello (or an insult, depending on who it is exactly), and asks what I’d like today. I run up to his table and press “A”.

Cup has been added to your inventory.

“GUARDS!! THIEF!!” He screams bloody murder.

Wait, what?!

You are over-encumbered.

“I’M SORRY!!” I scream, throwing the cup across the room and a few extra cheap items that I didn’t know I had or needed in hopes of forgiveness. “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!”



And all the items I meant to steal get taken away from me as well. ALL BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY  GRABBED A CUP, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I GAVE BACK AS SOON AS I REALIZED.

Of course, that obviously isn’t good enough and you either pay the court a fine or rot in jail.


Also…I wasn’t aware it was customary for shop owners to leave their gold lying around everywhere. I mean, really?! And that’s like the EASIEST shit to take, because gold is gold and guards can’t tell the difference between your gold and your recently “acquired” gold.

(Also, is it safe if you store your stolen stash on your follower? Do they take it off of him/her as well when you get arrested…?)

So, yeah.

And I’m not just talking about The Elder Scrolls series either, this shit happens in other Bethesda games, too (does it happen in Morrowind also? I’ve never played it, help me out here!). Fallout 3 and New Vegas…

In the wasteland, you steal shit, you get your head blown off. That’s it, no questions asked. There are no guards, at least, none that I can remember in Fallout 3, except maybe Rivet City (had to look up the name, it’s been a long time since I’ve played, heh), and in New Vegas, on the strip…and even then, they just blow your head off. So either way, you end up with your brains splattered against the wall.


When I do want to steal, I find the stores in Skyrim to be absolutely pathetic. I break in, and find there’s hardly anything really WORTH taking and bringing all the way back to Riften to sell to the fence. At least, in Whiterun it’s been like that…I’ll have to try other places later.

Oblivion was nice for stealing…well, the jewelry store was, anyway. 😀

Plus, it always helps having Detect Life when you’re a thief, so you know if someone’s coming and if you’re about to get busted or not. (Or, alternatively, in Skyrim, just do the ol’ “bucket on the head” thing. Usually works, unless they have a magic force field around there head that sends it flying…what? It did happen… Just make sure not to accidentlly take the bucket instead of carrying it.)

Also fuck those guard dogs in Imperial City.

Back to Skyrim…

I did break into that alchemy dealer in Whiterun a few days ago, and snuck around as a cat burglar, stealthy as can be, raided all the ingredients (making potions from stolen items doesn’t make the potion counted as stolen, yay!) and potions I could carry. And then, as I’m about to grab some ice wraith teeth and a potion of minor healing I hear…

“We sell all kinds of alchemy ingredients and agents!”

Spinning around as quick as I can, I scanned the floor for any movement. Nothing. Then I realized the crazy bitch was talking to herself on the second floor. So I continued to steal, all the while listening to her brag about her shop full of items.

Not anymore, sister, not anymore!

Also, sorry if I stole a goddamn cheese wheel, Ulfric. The sweetroll wasn’t considered stolen, so I thought the cheese was okay, too. I guess you just really like your cheese, huh? Regardless, I’m not paying a fine, nor going to jail, because I have about 40 other stolen cheese wheels (among other things), and I don’t want to put the effort to get them back from you guys. See ya!!

“Let me guess…someone stole your sweetroll.”

Nah, nope. I do the sweetrolling stealing around here, baby.


Image Credit: Unknown source.

By the way, I suck at pickpocketing. Stupid keys for stupid doors that need the stupid key. Stupid… (grumbles)

Next Post: Glutton for Punishment


“Wait…I know you.”

February 10, 2012

...Shit. Nope, no you don't...

Oh, guards.

At least, unlike in Oblivion, they give you some warning. I remember so many times, I’d just rob shit in Cyrodiil, run away, ride away on Shadowmere on my merry way, and then, all of a sudden…

(camera whips away)


"You violated my mother."

Oh sh–

And, in Oblivion, it was literally kinda almost impossible to do anything in any of the major cities, because these guys would just arrest your shit right on sight. Also, they seem pretty observant…or I’m just a terrible opportunist thief.

(Alas, I am also pretty bad at lockpicking…at least, when escaping jail. FFFFUUUU–)

It’s not like they’re exactly hard to sneak by or anything…they just seem to pop out of nowhere when you least expect it, like they’re watching over your shoulder or something and they just know, almost as if they can smell your stolen goods. And at least it’s fairly easy to get back your stolen shit out of those “evidence” chests. Hurrah.

Skyrim, it’s a tad different.

You get a bounty, and the guards stop you and ask you to either pay it, or serve your time. Now, you can do those two things, or, if you’re like me who tends to save up more stolen goods than you should be…you can just run. Fast. Away. Go. GO!

(Also, having a mount helps to make a faster getaway. Yay, mounts!!) 😀

…You come back later, totally forgetting about said bounty and one of these two things happen.

1) They kind of walk by you and pause with the, “Wait…I know you.”


2) Just attack you on sight, if you’re bounty’s high enough.

Whenever Option 1 happens, I just run from them. XD I learned my lesson the first time when I went to talk to them after they said it, vainly thinking they meant they recognized my awesomness as Thane of Whiterun, or perhaps the fact that I’m Dragonborn! 😀

Me: “Yeeeess?”

Guard: “There’s a warrant out for your arrest…”

Me: “Faaack.”

And then you can just run away and repeat the cycle all over again. Huzzah.

Getting your stuff back in Skyrim isn’t exactly hard either, which is nice. Just be like…”Bitch, I’m SUPPOSED to be here,” and the guards are like, “Okay, cool”, which is just basically:


(…But they seem like they do, because I had no idea they’d actually go through the trouble of following me into a dungeon of all things…geez, when are you going to call it quits already?!)

As quoted by my good pub friend…

"The security in Whiterun is terrible. Shameful, is what it is."

Amen, brother. Amen.

Sinmir: (clap, clap)

Guard: “You have commited crimes against Skyrim and her people…”


Image Credits: The Elder Scrolls Wiki, UESP Wiki

(I’ll edit this later to add more clarity. Until then…)


The Spectral Assassin & I

February 9, 2012

…Do not get along at all.


Don’t get me wrong, he’s dreadfully useful, maybe too much so, since if I don’t get to ambush someone before they see me, I’ll need some backup because I’m not exactly a tank.

My Khajiit character just can’t stand him.

He talks…and talks…and talks…and talks some more. With a loud booming spectral voice, it gets especially annoying when talking to other NPCs, because he seems to be FIVE TIMES LOUDER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

Honestly, if he stopped saying the same things over and over every 30 seconds I wouldn’t mind him at all.

Any of this sound familiar?

“My Listener?”
“Lead and I will follow…Child of Darkness.”
“We are bonded now, you and I. Joined by the powers of the Void.”


Seriously, what happened, man? You used to be awesome in Oblivion…mainly because you didn’t really talk so much. Urgh.

Random NPC: “Oh, have you visited Morthal? I heard that this–”

Spectral Assassin: “In life, I was but a Speaker for the Dark Brotherhood, but you have been named Listener. There is no higher honor.”

Random NPC: “…when the sunsets. Strange, huh?”

Me: “…Wut.”

Or…sneaking around in the dungeon. I usually focus on listening for any signs of movement or life.

Me: (sneak, sneak)

Spectral Assassin: “Perhaps we should find a random stranger to murder… practice does make perfect.”

Bandit: “O HALLO THAR!!” (slice)

Me: (dies)

I wish there was a way to dismiss him, other than him dying. I smacked him around with my blades a few times before he became aggro in the Winking Skeever, so I had to stand on the bed and just shoot lighting up his ass. Geez.

And then after all that…I find out I broke a rule in the Dark Brotherhood and now have to pay 500 gold?! GODDAMN IT, LUCIEN!!

At least he’s as slow as other followers. So when I get on Shadowmere I usually just leave him behind…unfortunately then, when I actually DO need him…he’s nowhere to be found.

…And then he shows up AFTER I kiled whatever ambushed us.


I sound like a big complainer, maybe I am. But hey.

Other than that though, the Dark Brotherhood’s questline is pretty fun so far.  Maybe I’ll write my thoughts about it next time.

Spectral Assassin: “I live…again!”


Image Credit: UESP Wiki