Posts Tagged ‘XBOX 360’

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I WIN…?

August 16, 2014

The damage display on the bow is glitched, see below for actual damage output.

damage

GIF-When-the-old-lady-in-my-yoga-class-can-do-a-hand-stand

Read this post first for full explanation.

Specifics and comments below:

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Prepare to Die…A Lot.

May 31, 2014

I’ve come to the point in Dark Souls where I’m actually stuck. I’ve come to a boss that I’m having quite a lot of trouble beating, one I can’t cheat with (like the Capra Demon). I have a summon, to help me out, but other than that, I’m on my own. The boss I’m talking about is the duo of Ornstein & Smough.

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Fighting two enemies at once isn’t anything new in this game. Near the beginning you fight the Belfry Gargoyles, and yeah, on your own it’s challenging, but you can summon NPCs to the fight to help you. Actually with the NPC help it’s easy as hell…maybe a little too easy.  Then there’s the Capra Demon. No help for that one… So when I finally arrived in Anor Londo after the extremely irritating Sen’s Fortress, I had a lot of patience for Anor Londo, mainly because let’s face it, it’s fucking beautiful. It really lives up to being the city of the gods.  So while running between giant’s legs and bashing Batwing Demon’s skulls in, I’m taking in the scenery.

After a lot of work getting through the area, I finally got the fog gate. All the enemies in the room were clear so I thought, “eh, what the hell. If I die, I die. I unlocked the shortcut, it’s not like I can’t get back here easily.”

I entered the boss room.

(Spoilers from here onwards!)

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Mini Post: LOOK AT ME!!

August 31, 2013
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Image Source: dorkly.com

Why is that every time you want a character to notice you doing something…they never actually look?!

Lately in between doing the Thieves’ Guild quest (yes I’m still working on that), I’ve been kind of working on and off to get the easy achievements I’m still missing (Pick 50 locks, etc.) I decided to work on the Master Criminal Achievement because why not…it’s the one where you need to get 1000 gold bounty and all nine holds.

Well…I decided to do this on my “good” character. I didn’t want to go on a murderous rampage, and I’m not sure what I can steal that would make an easy 1000 bounty, so I decided to do the next best thing…turn into a werewolf in front of someone.

…Except every time I did it…THEY NEVER FUCKING LOOKED.

I’d walk right up to a guard, they’d look at me sand say. “What. Let me guess. Someone stole your sweetroll?” and I’d be like, “Yeah! And I’m really fucking MAD!!” and go RAWWWR straight into hairy beast mode…Only to find out they looked away during mid transformation, so I didn’t get the bounty for actually being seen. And of course, they happen to turn back after and try to kill me, so I have to flee the city and wait to change back. Super annoying.

…Then I just realized I could just go into a tavern and transform. Even that didn’t always work.

Eventually I thought I got all 9 holds once I transformed in Windhelm.

…Nope.

“WTF!!” I screamed as the achievement was still locked. I checked the stats page…all holds had 1000 gold bounty or more. I wondered if I need to have EXACTLY 1000 in each hold.

…Well turns out the page didn’t list Haafingar (Solitude) for some reason. I traveled to the place, did a little Thieves’ Guild mission before I got in trouble, then burst into the Blue Palace, screamed “LOOK AT ME!!” as I tore off my clothes and grew a lotta hair right in front of the throne room. “I used to be an adventurer like you then I–OH GOD KILL IT!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!”

achievementOf course, let’s just remember all the other times a guard or stupid kid sneaks up behind you just when you’re about to pull off the perfect murder/heist…

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…I should have just FUS RO DAH’d everyone to Oblivion and beyond.

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Top 10 Glitches of Skyrim

July 31, 2013

Here’s a list of my top 10 weird Skyrim glitches, in no particular order. If you’re a player of this game, I’m sure you’ve encountered at least one of them before!

Click each header for video examples (when available)!

Backwards Dragon

omg-is-that-a-backwards-flying-dragon-in-skyrim

Out of all of the glitches on this list, I think this is probably the most infamous one of all. Back around Skyrim’s launch, a lot users reported having dragons flying backwards or just spinning around. Unfortunately, I never got to experience the backwards flying weirdness, but I did get a lot of spinning dragons that disappear into the sky, or swallowed up into mountains.

Sabertooth Cat/Spinning Creatures

sabertooth

This glitch is pretty much like above, except with dead animals or people perhaps being possessed by some supernatural force and throw into the sky. The video linked is probably the funniest example I’ve seen by far. I’ve only had spinning dragons, unfortunately, including Paarthurnax and an Elder dragon.

Naked NPCs

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“Nope, sorry. Nothing.”
You mean your clothes?
(Image Credit: skyrimglitches.tumblr.com)

And no, I’m not talking about completely naked ass and tits. There’s plenty of mods for that.

My sister, who doesn’t play Skyrim much told me once she was exploring around Winterhold, saw three naked men come over the horizon. What. I swear Nords must never feel the cold, but their nipples must be forever rock hard, wow. Marcurio pulled the same stunt on me, running up behind me with nothing but a dragon priest mask on.

Me: “OH BY THE DIVINES MARCURIO YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME! …Wait, why are you naked? WHERE IS ALL THE SHIT I GAVE YOU?”

Marcurio: “I AM AN APPRENTICE WIZARD, NOT A PACK MULE!”

Me: “DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD DROP ALL MY SHIT, JACK ASS!”

And then there’s the naked courier, they bring you the fan mail…and the fan service. Where does he pull the letters from? From between his butt cheeks, of course!

Secret Chests AKA “Do Not Delete”

(Image Credit: twiz60 @ SkyrimNexus)

(Image Credit: twiz60 @ SkyrimNexus)

More of an exploit than a glitch. Apparently if you carry a plate or other kind of object and run at certain walls in just the right angles you can break into a secret room, sparsely decorated sans chest in the middle of the floor. There’s a few more things that involve some weird glitching out to get to, apparently they’re merchant chests used by the developers and not meant to be reachable by normal means.

Moving Mannequins

Image Credit: The Elder Scrolls Wiki

(Image Credit: The Elder Scrolls Wiki)

Probably the creepiest of the bunch, is the moving mannequins in Riften. If you bought Honeyside and been in the cellar, you’ve probably experienced it before. If you leave the house and come back, the mannequins tend to move on their own and reappear in odd places, almost like someone broke in and moved them or they have some sort of life of their own…

Back from the Dead

"I'm back from the dead and you still haven't proven your puny ass yet, whelp." (Image Source: UESP Wiki)

“I’m back from the dead and you still haven’t proven your puny ass yet, whelp.”
(Image Source: UESP Wiki)

Skjor is most infamous of all for this glitch. If you’ve done the Companions story, you know he dies near the beginning of the quest line. Problem is…he doesn’t seem to stay dead. You can usually find him wandering Skyrim with various members of the Companions, like nothing happened to him at all. For me, when he came back to life he moved by lying face down and sliding along the ground. Probably one of the strangest (and amusing) glitches I’ve ever encountered.

Facelessness

I’ve never encountered this glitch but apparently you can trigger it by donning the arch mage robes and wearing a dragon priest mask. Not exactly game breaking, but amusing none the less. If you’re on PC, a simple google search should yield you a fix if it bothers you that much.

Swimming in the Air

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Sometimes, when you get tired of trekking around Skyrim on foot or horse…you just gotta try something new. How about swimming, on land? Apparently the swimming animation can trigger randomly, usually around bodies of water. I’ve encountered this glitch myself, but in my case, while amusing it was actually quite helpful!

Lydia’s Favourite Chair

"Tell him to get the fuck outta my chair!"

“Tell him to get the fuck outta my chair!”

I’m not quite sure if they patched this recently (probably), but this glitch annoyed me so much that I moved out of Whiterun just because I was so tired of Lydia’s “Welcome back, my Thane” while she ate bread and watched me sleep. Excuse me, don’t you have your own damn room?! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS IN THAT CHAIR?! IT’S SO GODDAMN CREEPY!

Spinning Horse & Cart

A glitch on this list that’s actually game breaking, but still hilarious to see. Too bad it happens so early in the game you don’t even get to play. It was quickly patched soon after launch, but this video sums it up pretty well. I still laugh every time.

Special Mentions

Horse tricks – Random encounters of people standing on horses.
Falling through the floor – It happens.
Disappearing houses.
Missing textures.
Glowing eyes – Super annoying in first person, it’s a permanent glitch encountered occasionally after using Aura Whisper. Not sure if it ever got patched, hope it did.
NPCs ignoring you and not triggering missions. – Super annoying, usually fixable by loading an earlier save, or killing an enemy nearby.
Enemies not attacking you, even when you’re right in front of them.
Water hates you – PS3 players, you no doubt remember this. Everytime you entered a body of water, the game crashed.
Shadowmere/Frost/Horses disappearing.
Louis Letrush duplicating himself just outside of Whiterun.
Getting stuck in unusual places. – It happens, especially on rocky terrain. Usually you need to reload an earlier save!

There’s plenty more glitches in Skyrim, after all, this is a Bethesda game, but these are the ones that stood out most to me. Let me know in the comments which ones you’ve experienced, and which are your favourites! 🙂

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Skyrim Legendary Release

April 30, 2013

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So Bethesda has finally annoyed the GOTY (or so called “Legendary”) release of Skyrim, for all 3 platforms.

Yay!

Maybe now I can buy it for 360, and continue on with my main character.

…But I’ll have to wait for awhile to scrounge enough money to pay $60 for it. Yikes.

Wish I had XBOX Live. Then this wouldn’t be such a hassle.

Or you know, wish they released the DLC on separate discs like they did with Fallout and Oblivion. Guess that’s too much money to produce now. Oh well.

Soon…I will update this blog with the DLC reviews.

Soon.

…When I’m not a poor bastard.

*sob*

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Revenge of the Ancients

December 12, 2012
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Image Credit: njaall.tumblr.com

So during my usual adventuring through the mystical province of Skyrim, I managed to collect enough junk to almost be over-encumbered, so I headed back to my home in the mountains, my stone house in Markarth. I no longer kept any followers, mainly because J’Zargo died on me like seventy times during a pretty weak bandit attack, so I kind of got tired of picking up after dead people so I basically had to haul ass by myself. I mean, now I was pretty much a target without any decoys to back me up, but hey, it’s not like they were much use to me anymore.

So anyway, back to traveling back to Markarth, I was just outside the city and riding up on my trusty steed. I dismounted by the stables and casually walked up to the gate.

ROOOOOAAARRR

The ground shook violently and a dark shadow swooped overhead. I looked up to see a dragon–just not ANY dragon, an Ancient dragon, so I brought out my soon-to-be-retired glass bow, Odin, and readied it as I waited for the dragon to fly closer again.

He didn’t.

Basically he flew around the mountains for 10 minutes while I fruitlessly tried to fire arrows into his scaly hide.

Getting kind of dizzy spinning around for no good reason, I said “fuck it” and went into the city. And went back out again.

Roar, dragon.

Still didn’t come down.

Fuck.

Back into the city. He’s still roaring.

Outside. Dragonrend.

Doesn’t even hit him.

So I went to go drop off my junk loot and came back out later.

He still didn’t come down.

I said, fuck this, and basically turned off the XBOX in disappointment and called it a night.

I loaded it up the next day and the bitch finally landed, breathing fire in my face.

Okay, bitch. Now it’s time to eat some arrows. Thanks for finally landing, fucking finally.

He took a bite out my head and tossed me a like a rag doll.

…Fuck me.

A little while later, running around in the College of Winterhold, trying to do the Conjuration quest for the unbound Daedra thing so I could make my epic bow, I was running between buildings to grab things. After completing the quest and getting to keep the Sigil Stone, I left the Hall of Countenance with Marcurio (for some reason I can’t remember I brought him along as my pack mule). Now, sometimes during the loading screens that can take upwards of 2 minutes on a bad day, I go grab a glass of water and leave the game, so when I come back it would be finished loading and I could just resume play as soon as I returned.

Big.

Big.

Mistake.

So I come back and basically everyone outside the College is going fucking nuts. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on, but I guess turning my character 90 degrees right into the face of an Ancient Dragon certainly gave me a clue. I guess it was due to reflexes or maybe the fact Marcurio distracted the big brute that I practically dived behind a stone pillar and barely escaped getting my ass roasted (I swear if it was real life, the edges of my armor would have been singed.

That fight was basically hide behind pillars every 20 seconds to avoid being burned to death, then waiting for Marcurio to run up to the dragon like a moron so I could fire arrows into its ass.

Yep. Just a typical day.

The last encounter I had was fairly anti-climatic, mainly due to the fact I can’t remember much about it. I remember traveling near a dragon’s lair and wondering if a dragon would re-spawn there, but I didn’t see one, so I continued on my merry way.

Of course, who comes out of no where AND PRACTICALLY LANDS ON TOP OF ME? (Oh wait…he did.)

YOU GUESSED IT.

AN ANCIENT DRAGON, OF COURSE.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK OFF ALREADY.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK OFF ALREADY!

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Keep in mind this all happened within the span of two days playing, or approximately 8 hours or so. Never had I had top-level dragons just randomly drop from the sky (or never leave it…AHEM MARKARTH DRAGON) so much as I did then.

Oh yeah, and this one apparently was glowing green or something, so I think it was attacked by a Spriggan beforehand because I’ve never seen that happen before.

…So I started making some weird sub-plot in my game where someone is controlling the Ancients and they’re dead-set on killing me.

HMMMMMM.

Also happy 12/12/12, guys. 😛

Image Credits: njaall, unknown (If anyone recognizes the last image, please let me know where they’re from so I can give proper credit!).

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Let That Arrow Fly

December 1, 2012
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Image Credit: DralelM @ SkyrimNexus

So for the past week or so I’ve been in a bit of a friendly challenge with my boyfriend. Basically, he has a bow in his game for his Dunmer Nightingale. He showed it for me back before he stopped playing, and I was amazed by the amount of damage it did. Back then, my bow probably topped at 43, if I was lucky.

He named his bow Windforce.

Holy shit.

Since then I’ve realized there’s plenty of cheats and exploits to make your bow do crazy amounts of damage, upwards of a million or more. But, to do that completely legit, without the Falmer helmet glitch, without console commands, without anything like that.

Brace yourself for numbers and shit no one cares about.

I upped my conjuration skill to 90, so I could get to the Atronach Forge and make a Daedric bow. I also got a +25% smithing bracers from the random crafting, so that was a plus. Then I filled the smithing perk tree.

Basically what I did was an endless cycle of make potions to raise enchanting level—>level up enchant item with fortify alchemy or smithing—>make potions to raise smithing or enchanting—>improve weapon or armor—>get lots of shit that fortified archery.

What I ended up with for smithing enchantments were 25%, 25%, 20%, 19% + 71% fortify smithing potion.

What I had for archery enchantments were 40%, 29%, 30%, 30% + 81% fortify marksmanship potion.

Yet this still wasn’t enough. The fuck was I missing?

Then, after I turned off the XBOX I went to bed thinking, “…I never maxed out Overdraw, did I…?”

…Damn it.

ME. WHO PLAYS WITH A BOW 90% OF THE TIME. HOW COULD I MISS THIS?!?!

So the next day I did that so it was double damage, then upped Alchemy to 60%, which also took forever, even after using the Ognum Infinium to level up (ran out of perks for it so I really need to level, plus upping it from 63 to 80 is kind of a pain in the ass and takes forever).

I set to work. First, I made the potions to fortify enchanting, got that up to 21%. Then I enchanted items to fortify alchemy. Then I made more potions to fortify enchanting. Then I enchanted items to do fortify smithing. And I made a few fortify marksman potions, too.

By the way, my archery, smithing and enchanting are all at 100. Alchemy is only 63.

Basically the enchanted items  ended up like this:

Alchemy: 20%/20%/19%/19%
Enchanting potion: 21%
Smithing: 25%/25%/20%/19%
Smithing potion: 86%
Archery: 40%/31%/31%/31%
Archery potion: 86%

So taking my bow to Skyforge (I got so tired of walking back and forth at Markarth), I put on my smithing equipment and drank the potion, and set to work.

Once the bow was fully upgraded, I dawned my archery equipment and drank the marksman potion. I held my breath, and checked the numbers…

This is what I ended up with.

...Fuck!

…Fuck!

…What.

How…

WHY?!?!

WHY IS IT STILL NOT ENOUGH!?!?

Again, I figure if I find better enchanted equipment or raise my alchemy level to max it would probably kick Windforce’s ass, but I already spent hours doing this so really, what’s the point?

You win. I admit defeat. Windforce is the superior bow…

…For now. >:D

…In the meantime what should I name and enchant my badass bow? 😀