Archive for June, 2012

h1

Home Is Where the Dragon Soul Is

June 30, 2012

Home, sweet home…

“Where I lay my head is home.”

–Metallica, Wherever I May Roam

To be honest, I was a little disappointed in the lack of any real selection in houses in Skyrim. By that, I mean, sure, there’s plenty of places to choose from, but really…none of them just feels like home.

For me, my first purchase of a home in Skyrim was made considering these factors:

-Price
-Location
-Size
-I have too much shit to carry, I need somewhere to store it.

With those factors in mind, I bought Breezehome first. My dog Meeko took his place in front of the fire, and Lydia annoyingly sat in the chair beside my bed, eating her favourite food while watching me sleep: bread.

Here’s my review of the homes in Skyrim (in my purchase order):

Score Guide:

 = Poor
 = Decent
 = Good
 = Very Good
 = Excellent

Breezehome

Price:
5,000, +1,800 if you upgrade. A reasonable price for a small home in the heart of Skyrim.

Space: 
Breezehome is small. Like, ridiculously tiny. I’d be surprised if you could walk around the house with full gear, let alone with a dog and a follower and not knock something over. Yeah, that’s how small it is.

Fuctionality: 
No display cases, mannequins. There are a few wall mounts, 2 chests, an alchemy table + satchel, and 2 small bookcases. Nothing amazing, but it’ll do. The only real disappointing thing is THERE IS NO ENCHANTMENT TABLES. URGH. And the closest one is all the way into Dragonsreach! What a pain in the ass, especially for heavy-enchantment users like myself.

Location: 
Whiterun, close to the main entrance and beside the Blacksmith’s shop. Convenient, in that sense, and it’s close to all the main shops. But, as I mentioned above, nowhere close enough to an enchanter’s table. Blah.

Additional Comments: 
Nets you a free housecarl (like most of the other houses do), a bit an annoying one…Lydia…Good location for the beginning adventurer, for sure. The location and price are the best redeeming features here.

Honeyside

Price: 

5,000 (if you use the cheat) – 8,000 +4,300 upgrades. A decent price for a 2-floor house, with more room than the previous home, an entrance to the home in both the city and outside the city, and close to the Thieves’ Guild, if you’re into that kind of business.

Space: 
The space in this home is a step up from Breezehome, but it’s not that much more impressive. Besides having room, it just seems pretty damn boring, and most of the room is placed downstairs in the cellar, which is equally blasé, with or without any upgrades. Also, it’s quite dark…or at least, it seems like it is, to me.

Fuctionality: 
A bigger bookshelf, a chest or two, an alchemy table (no satchel this time), an enchantment table (a big plus for me), 2 creepy moving mannequins, a bunch of wall-mounts. No display cases, but who gives a shit? Close to a pawn shop, the bar.

Location: 
If you’re a rogue, and you have a penchant for shiny things that don’t belong to you, this is the home for you. Just a little further into the city, and you’ve got the Thieves’ Guild. The Black-Briar Meadery is also close. And with the entrances inside and outside the city, it makes it the perfect home for level 4 vampires who want to dump their loot or make a potion, and who desperately need to avoid hostile villagers at any cost.

Additional Comments:
Creepy housecarls staring at me and mannequins trying to stab me in my sleep…no thanks. Also, way too dark. And for some reason I always get lag when I first enter this house. Weird.

Vindrel Hall

Price: 
8,000 (again, if you use the house-buying cheat, which you can simply google if you really want to use it) – 12,000 +4,200 upgrades. A decent price for decent sized house. It’s just a pain in the ass to actually be able to buy this house. Apparently a lot of people (including myself, on my second playthrough) had a hard time actually unlocking the requirements to buy this stupid place from the Jarl of Markarth. Damn glitches. Don’t worry Skyrim, I still love you. I love to hate you. ❤

Space: 
I like it. It has only one floor, but multiple rooms and ample space. There’s the entrance hall, the dinning hall, master bedroom, housecarl’s quarters, an alchemy and enchantment room. It’s pretty fricken sweet. And stuff isn’t cluttered around so you can actually move around without knocking shit over.

Fuctionality: 
With an alchemy table, an enchantment table, chests, a huge set of bookcases (love<3), a plethora of weapon racks, and multiple display cases for all you dagger fetishists. And a mannequin that thankfully doesn’t move around the house when you’re not home. Yay.

Location: 
Set in the Reach, in the western most part of Skyrim, Vindrel Hall is perfect for all you Dwarven Ruins lovers. Set in the side of a mountain and higher reaches of Markarth, you have to run up a set of multiple staircases to get it. While slow to actually travel to it, getting back out is a lot faster as you just jump off the side of the rail outside and land on one of the vendor’s stalls. I’m sure they love that.

Additional Comments:
With Markarth’s towering stone structures, I don’t find this house really warm enough to call home. But I am currently using this house as it has the best space for my main character, and it doesn’t have a creepy housecarl staring at me while I sleep. So yay again.

Proudspire Manor

Price: 
A steep 25,000 + 11,000 for upgrades. Yikes. Definitely not affordable for the budget adventurer (not that it’s hard to get money in Skyrim, it just takes time, and most of us have more important things to spend our hard earned septims on).

Space: 
Three floors. Three. As I haven’t unlocked all the upgrades yet (my second Khajiit character could barely afford the house, and used all her money from the final major Dark Brotherhood quest to barely scrape enough septims to actually purchase it). There’s what looks to be a training room in the basement, and decorative stuff in the upper floor, but all and all, it seems kind of…bare? Perhaps I’ll edit this whenever I get around to playing my Khajiit assassin character again. Or not. Meh.

Fuctionality: 
I assume it comes with basically…well…everything a Dovahkiin needs, but like I said, I haven’t bought all the upgrades yet. If you like lots of storage and multiple compartments to sort and store your stuff, then this might be the house for you. It also has a safe, which I thought was a nice touch…I store all my precious jewels in there. Shhh.

Location: 
If you like the Imperial Legion, then you’ll like this house. Located in Solitude and not that far from the Blue Palace, it’s a nice luxurious home for the wealthy of us. The only downfall is it’s bloody far from the actual entrance into the city. But that’s not a huge deal.

Additional Comments:
Because I wanted to try all the houses, I didn’t actually have a home for my Khajiit for 92 freaking hours and until the whole completion of the Dark Brotherhood questline. Geez. I THOUGHT AHEAD, KIDS. I SAVED MONEY FROM DAY ONE. AND THIS IS WHY IT’S BEST TO ALWAYS STEAL THINGS. REMEMBER THAT. LIFE LESSONS HEARD FROM THE DOVAHKIIN RIGHT HERE, FOLKS.

Hjerim

Price:  (8,000 – 12,000 + 9000 upgrades)
Space: TBA
Fuctionality: TBA
Location: 

Additional Comments:
Because my first character remained neutral in my first game, my second character glitched out (stupid ass Blood on the Ice quest…*grumble*), and my third character doesn’t have enough money yet, this is the only home I haven’t managed to get my hands on yet. So my review will probably be edited in sometime in the coming week or so. If you really want to know and can’t wait, my boyfriend really seems to like this house.

(Image Credits: UESP Wiki)

Stay tuned for the final editing of this.

EDIT 1: Urrgh, stupid formatting. Please be patient while I try to fix this. Grr…

Advertisements
h1

Mini Post: Malacath’s Wrath

June 28, 2012

(I rhymed there. You like that?!)

So about a week ago, I was venturing across Riften (mostly on and off as a werewolf, faster traveling FTW), looking for adventure between filling various mini-quests. I stumbled across Largashbur. The first time I came across it, a giant was attacking and there was this orc mage throwing ice spikes into his face. I decided to help her out, and together we took down the giant.

…After I picked its toe, I went back to the stronghold and tried to enter. It was was locked. So, I tried to talk to their lookout.

Nothing.

I jumped up and down.

Nothing.

I thought of putting an arrow into her face to see if that could grab her attention…but on second thought, a whole tribe of orcs coming after me wasn’t exactly…the most appealing idea. o____o

Let me, let me in! Or I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll fucking FUS RO DAH your door down.

So, I did what every good adventuring Dovahkiin does.

I left that fortress of solitude without another word.

Bad ass-ly.

…Hold on a sec, this story has more to it.

I ended up back there a few hours later on another random misc. quest. This time, I ended up in the mountains ABOVE the orc camp. Looking down, I shouted my Ethereal shout and jumped, hoping it wouldn’t wear off before I hit the bottom.

“AAAHHHHH!!” I screamed and landed by the blacksmith’s hut.

No one seemed to notice.

I snuck around and rolled like the stealthy-bad ass I was, and came up behind the mage.

“Boo,” I whispered.

Atub: (doesn’t afraid of anything) “Giants have been attacking here because we’re cursed. Please save us, whoever you are.”

“I’m the mighty DOVAHKIIN!!”

“Just shut up and help.”

“K.”

“Bring me some troll fat and a Daedra heart.”

“ALREADY GOTS IT, HUZZAH!!”

She didn’t look to thrilled. But then again, orcs usually don’t look that thrilled about anything.

QUEST STARTED: THE CURSED TRIBE

After interviewing several unhelpful orcs, I talked to the chief.

…And he was a pussy.

No wonder you all are cursed.

Doomed.

Forever.

Pussy.

Orc Chief: “Blah blah blah.”

So we all go out after much convincing for Chief Yamarz to take part, and the mage/priestess starts talking to Malacath at the shrine.

“OH MIGHTY MALACATH, ANSWER OUR CALL, I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT I SAID DURING THIS CUTSCENE, BUT COME TALK TO US.”

Silence.

Orc Chief: “I knew this was a waste of time. I’m gonna go sleep some moar.”

All of a sudden, a booming voice comes down from the sky…

“YOU WEAK, PATHETIC MORTALS.”

Orc Mage: “Malacath speaks!!” =O

“AND YOU, CHIEF YAMARZ, ARE A PATHETIC PUSSY WHO IS NOT FIT TO LEAD THIS TRIBE.”

Yamarz: “…I’m…not a pussy.”

“SO I CURSED YOU ALL. HAHAHA.”

…Meanwhile, I’m kinda waiting for something awesome to happen, or be told do more objectives, because let’s face it, how often do you do a quest where you just TALK? Not very often, at least not with orcs. They prefer talking with their fists, kinda similar to how Nords do.

Anyway, Malacath continues his tirade.

“YOU ARE ALL WEAK, PATHETIC LITTLE PUSSIES. I’M SO ANGRY I COULD–”

And then a flash of lightning. And the world was plunged into darkness.

The power went out at my house.

Malacath’s rage was so hard, he killed the power.

Damn, that’s a pretty strong Daedra.

And that was that.

(Image Credits: UESP Wiki)

(…Yes, I realize this post was pretty pointless. Perhaps I’ll finish writing about this quest later. The ending was pretty funny. Maybe I’ll finish it tomorrow.)

h1

Dark Dragon Crossing

June 18, 2012

(Image Credit: Elec1 @ Skyrim Nexus)

Every once and a while, I get bored with just doing quests and sorting inventory. Every once and a while, I like to go out and slay dragons like a complete bad ass (usually, it doesn’t work out so well).

So, I went to the usual dragon-sighting hot spots as usual:

Just outside Markarth – Nothing.

Dragon’s Bridge – Nothing.

Just outside Riften – Nothing.

Darkwater Crossing – BINGO!!

Every single time, every damn time, I fast travel to Dark Water Crossing, there’s always been a dragon there to greet me. Even two, sometimes. Anyway, I came across and Elder AND an Ancient. And unlike the times were two dragons appeared before, these two actually stuck around.

Shit.

The battle took an hour. I grabbed my enchanted glass bow (73 dmg + fire and ice effect), got some ebony arrows and fired them all at the Elder first (get the weakest out of the way, you know?) I called Odahviing, and the epic battle of three dragons commenced.

I shot arrows when I could, and I observed Odahviing defending me as the dragons did aerial loops and crazy dives. What was good about this fight was that the two enemy dragons actually went after each other for awhile. Meanwhile. the stupid NPCs of Darkwater just kind of sat around there campfires like this was some common occurence (which, by the way, it very well may have been, since dragons seem to swarm there).

Eventually the battle dragged away from the village, and into a bandit camp which was completely annihilated. I used Become Ethereal to dodge attacks when needed (which, by the way, with Otar’s elemental defense boosts, saved my ass a few times).

What actually helped save my ass. Thank you, Otar. ❤

Finally, I used Dragonrend to get the Elder to the ground, on top of this small mountain. I pulled out my recently found Daedric battleaxe, and went to take the final blow.

The Elder dragon breathed fire on me, and I went to dodge.

…And I fell off the cliff and died.

FUCK.

MY.

LIFE.

Fail.

XD

The next day I played again, killed the Elder, and finally I only had the Ancient left. Booyah!!

He ate me.

FDJKGDFJKGH

I did finally manage to kill him, and with a surge of pride at killing two tough-ass dragons, I absorbed their souls and felt MY SUPAR DOVAHKIIN POWER!!

Odahviing bid me a fare-thee-well and I stood around feeling bad ass.

Because that’s what a Dovahkiin does when he/she’s not slaying dragons.

Just being a motherfucking bad ass.

Booyah.

(Image Credits: UESP Wiki & Elder Scrolls Wiki, unless otherwise stated.)

h1

Mini Post: Naked Courier Service

June 12, 2012

So, I was itching for another dragon fight and wandering around dragon hot spots like I usually do, when I was stopped by this…

“OH, HAY THAR. I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOUUU~~”
(Image Source: skyrimglitches.tumblr.com)

Well, actually, all I saw was a naked man running towards me, so my initial reaction was to back away…slowly…

“Oh hey, I have a letter for you.”

…A courier?!

A NAKED COURIER?!

WTF?

Did…did I or some bandits have some past run in with you and stole all your belongings or something…? Or were you at that drinking party I had with Sam Guevenne or what…?

“A letter. Won’t say who he was. Just that he’s a friend of yours.”

Yeah, yeah. I’ll take the letter. Now why are you naked? Is this a special telegram service or something and you’ll start giving me a Nord-style lap dance or something, buddy?

“Well, that’s it. Gotta go. Important deliveries to make.”

MORE LIKE IMPORTANT CROTCH THRUSTS, AMIRITE?!

Well, apparently this is a pretty common glitch, so that naked courier is really making the rounds, huh?

HOOOOOOO~~