So it’s not much of a secret I haven’t been playing much Skyrim lately, or Oblivion for that matter, so I’ve been a bit dry on updates here.
Well, I got one.
It’s not a big one but it’s a post.
I recently picked up Oblivion again for a bit, hoping to familiarize myself with the controls so I could start seriously playing again. I found myself in the arcane tower in Imperial City, having no idea what quest I was on and why I was there.
Basically, I ended up leaving the city, grabbed my horse and road off to the south. What was supposed to be a scenic adventure didn’t last long.
I was first ambushed by a spriggan. Fine, kill that. Then immediately afterward I got punched in the face by a frost atronach, conjured by some asshole hobo wizard. I awkwardly whipped out my sword, hit him half a million times (my demon horse did all the work of course), and cried triumphantly as I killed him, got some frost salts and waited for my health to slowly regenerate from my state of near-death.
Phew. I am such a tough ass warrior chick. Kicking ass.
“Oh, there you are! It’s time to go into the Imperial Castle! Follow me!”
What?
I turn around it’s a redguard that I don’t even remember holding a torch and beckoning me to follow. What quest is he from?!
“Who the hell are you again?!” I asked by he ignored me obviously, again beckoned me to follow and set off along his merry way back to where I just came from.
Alright. Guess I’m going this way.
I ran up to him to catch up (it was like three steps, really) and followed him.
…He walks about 10 steps a minute.
What the fuck.
Getting impatient, I jump on my horse and ride ahead slightly, thinking it might be like Skyrim and the NPCs will just catch up to you. I mean, I’m going the right direction anyway, I didn’t get very fair from Imperial City, so it’s not like I didn’t know the way back.
About a minute into riding, I turn around and wait for him to catch up.
He never showed up.
I began riding back and he’s FUCKING STANDING WHERE I LEFT HIM MOTIONING ME TO FOLLOW. I go behind him and suddenly he starts walking again.
It was then I realized I had to stay RIGHT BEHIND HIM THE WHOLE DAMN WAY BACK.
Great.
So, basically what I did is set the auto-walk on Oblivion, and loosely held the mouse in place as I ate some cookies.
DON’T YOU FUCKING BECKON ME, ASSHOLE!
IT TOOK 20 MINUTES TO GET BACK TO THE CITY.
So, we get in the city and guess what?
We’re still walking as slow as dicks.
Goddamn.
“C’mon, this way!”
Holy shit.
To be honest I don’t even know where we ended up. I eventually got bored wasting my one hour of gaming time waiting for this ass to get lost and troll me stupid.
THE EVENTS OF SKYRIM WILL HAPPEN BEFORE WE GET THERE.
Honestly riding with Martin and his lackey took much less time. At least it was interesting.
In Skyrim they don’t really have this issue, you can leave the NPC behind, get to the destination before them and they’ll haul ass just to catch up to you.
Unless you’re Irileth, Jarl Balgruuf’s housecarl, who tends to run off in a completely different direction than the tower you’re supposed to be killing your first dragon at, the five guards all behind her blindly following before turning a 180 and running back in the right direction. I mean, WTF?
And seriously, what IS up with people in Skyrim saying half a sentence before exciting or entering a building and leaving you hanging?
“Not many visitors here in Riv–” (disappears through door)
Funny though. At least they don’t waste any time.
The Throat of the World 