January 30, 2015

This post is a continuation. You can read the previous entry here.

TESV 2014-11-13 21-30-43-29

Excuse my slightly angry tone in this entry, I had a bad day at work.

So after being banished from Lord Harkon’s shitty dinner party, I headed back to the Fort, only to find Isran and other people whose names I couldn’t be bothered to remember fighting a surprise ambush of–you guessed it!–vampires. After dispatching them, Isran wants all the gory (hehe) details about what happened in the Crypt. After I tell him about Serana, he wants me to find some weird-ass (ex) friends of his (whom he had a falling out with): a stereotypical bear-wrestling wild man, and a girl who’s apparently obsessed with the Dwemer (why? FUCK THEIR STUPID ROBOTIC SHIT!)

I first decide to go after bear-man, and of course, having perfect timing as always a fucking blood dragon decides to land in front of me, trying to fuck up everything. Me, Serana (who I can never dismiss from being a follower…more on that later), Marcurio and bear-man completely destroy that lizard. Bear-man then tells me he has to go kill a man-eating bear before coming back to help Isran (figures). Meh, no problem, I mean fuck bears, but they’re relatively easy, since every time they attack you they choose to stand up for some reason and just stand there and you just back away and run and poke and repeat etc. No problem. Bear-man heads back to the Fort.

We then head off to find the Dwemer scientist, Sorine.

Me: “Isran needs to you to fight vampires with your Dwemer knowledge or something.”

Sorine: “Oh well I lost all my shit, and mudcrabs are eating it, can you help me find it??”

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Well, just over that bank, anyway.

Me: “…”

Me: “…And you’re supposed to be the smart one.”

Easiest. Quest. Ever.

We all meet back at the Fort. Isran, being the paranoid little shit that he is, locks the two in the main hall and showers them with puppies and rainbows sunlight, just to make sure they’re not vampires. You know. Because you can’t quite tell just by looking at them. I mean, glowing eyes what.

So with a not so happy family reunion bear-man and Sorine are accepted into the folds, which is cool because they can train you and sell you stuff. Now I don’t have to worry about running out of bolts for my crossbow again! Yay!

After this I go speak with Isran again, except I can’t find the bugger…and me being me, I get hopelessly lost, no matter how often I go into Fort Dawnguard I still can’t navigate it properly. Once I finally find the stairs above apparently Isran tells me Serana came to the fort to meet with us (???, even though like I mentioned before, she hasn’t exactly left my side in the first place).

But Serana’s cool, she doesn’t take anyone’s shit, of course. She explains that she wants to help, because she’s awesome, and that her dad is basically bat-shit (punny?) insane, and that he wants to block out the sun permanently …which, sounds all good for vampires at first, but who’s gonna feed you when the humans die off because IT GETS GETS TOO COLD (even by Skyrim standards), AND THE PLANTS DON’T GROW? So to do that, Harkon needed Elder Scrolls, so Serana’s hot milf mom (more on that later…) sealed her and the Scroll away from him. I’m told Moth Priests are needed to decipher the Scroll, so I’m off on an another investigation to actually find one. In the mean time, I’m wondering what the hell a Moth Priest actually looks like, and actually picturing a giant moth wearing extravagant priestly clothes and hat.


Now I can’t remember how exactly I found him, I remember visiting the librarian at the College of Winterhold at some point while fucking around the Companions questline, but I can’t remember what he did to help be but anyway I ended up exploring a place called Forebears’ Holdout. Using my muffle spell, I successfully sneak in, punching Death Hounds in the face along the way.

I found the Moth Priest, he’s a pretty plan looking guy stuck in some kind of magic barrier. I kill the vampires guarding him and the spell dissolves.

Me: “Hey man, you’re a Moth Priest, right? We need your help to stop vampires from bl–”

Moth Priest: (starts attacking me)



Of course he has to be some kind of magic-wielding asshole, I fucking had like no magic resist at the time, so he was fucking annoying to fight. Once I finally beat his ass (barely), he yields and breaks feel of the vampire’s thrall spell, turning into a nice old man. Kind of like what you’d expect a (moth) priest to be.

Him: “Sorry about that. Dexion Evicus is my name. I’m a Moth Priest of the White Gold Tower.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m aware. I need you to read this Elder Scroll for me and help the Dawnguard kick Lord Harkon’s ass before the sun disappears.”


Of course he agrees to come back with you, nice guy. I guess I found the one person Isran hadn’t pissed all over in the past.

Returning back to the Fort, Dexion reads the Scroll to everyone.

Dexion: “Quiet, everyone! I need to concentrate!”

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Imagine if it was blank for real. Now what a troll that would be.

I see a vision before me, an image of a great bow. I know this weapon! It is Auriel’s Bow!
Now a voice whispers, saying “Among the night’s children, a dread lord will rise.”
In an age of strife, when dragons return to the realm of men, darkness will mingle with light and the night and day will be as one.
The voice fades and the words begin to shimmer and distort. But wait, there is more here.
The secret of the bow’s power is written elsewhere. I think there is more to the prophecy, recorded in other scrolls.
Yes, I see them now… One contains the ancient secrets of the dragons, and the other speaks of the potency of ancient blood.
My vision darkens, and I see no more.
To know the complete prophecy, we must have the other two scrolls.

…Well fuck me.

I thought Elder Scrolls were super rare? And now I had to find two more??

Kind of not looking forward to delving into Blackreach, I became a werewolf and just fucked around for a while, enjoying my favourite past time of ragdolling Thalmor. I tried to ditch Serana as well, but as I mentioned earlier she’s a bit…well…glitchy.

I tell her to leave, she refuses. I tell her to wait somewhere, she says okay, and then fast travelling away or being in a dungeon about a hour later I turn around and she’s suddenly there. “Need something?” It kind of reminded me of this.

I figured maybe at some point in the quest line I’d be able to ditch her, so I agreed with her to go investigate Volkihar and find her mum. Unfortunately during this time, I was having a hard time even fighting skeleton archers (why?) so I turned into a werewolf and annihilated their bony asses. Hurrah! But…turns out werewolves can’t break spider webs for some stupid reason, so I didn’t get too far that way.

After fighting a shit ton of vampires, death hounds and gargoyles we finally, finally make it into this garden Serana’s been raving about.

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Is it supposed to look like this? Wasn’t the garden in the center of the castle? Where the hell are the walls?!

Of course, it’s not quite how she remembers it. Everything’s dead and drab like I expected it to be. The sundial is beautiful though…but I guess it’s more of a moon dial, considering you have to find the pieces to the dial to get it to work again. The completed moon dial reveals a secret staircase into the underbelly–the ruins of the castle and we continue exploring. Let me it be said gargoyles tend to scare the shit out of me because I never expect them. After while I kept hitting gargoyle statues just in case they came to life, but it still caught me off guard every single damn time.

We finally find her mother’s secret laboratory, and thanks to a journal she left behind we find out she’s stuck in the Soul Cairn.

Me: “What’s the Soul Cairn?”

Serana: “Basically any soul you trap in a soul gem…well it goes there.”

Me: “That sounds…mildly morbid.”

Serana: “We have to go there to find my mother and the Elder Scroll.”

Me: “…Of course we do.”

To open the gate I had to find three ingredients scattered around the room. Seems simple enough. Once I place the ingredients into the bowl over looking the unactivated portal. Serana is then supposed to add her blood to the bowl.

Serana: (turns to me) “Need something?”

Me: “Yes, put your blood into the bowl so we can progress.”

Serana: “Yes?”

GODDAMN IT SHE DIDN’T DO SHIT. So I thought maybe I was supposed to tell her to put her blood into the bowl, nope, she literally did nothing and just stood there. My last save was awhile ago and I sure as hell didn’t want to do this all over again (NO MORE GARGOYLES).

Luckily, this was a known bug and I could just fix it via console commands, thank Talos. After everything was fixed, Serana finally cut her arm and blood dripped into the bowl.

The portal finally opened. As I was about to go in I felt my health beginning to drain rather quickly.

“Wait,” she tells me. “…You kind of need to be dead to enter.”

Me: “Dead?”

Serana: “Well, by that I mean undead. A vampire.”

Me: “…What. I’m a fucking werewolf. I don’t want to be a vampire.”

Serana: “…It’s either that or I partially trap your soul inside a gem.”

Me: “That doesn’t sound very appealing either.”

Serana: “If I do that your health, magicka and stamina will be decreased and regenerate very slowly in the Soul Cairn.”

Me: “…Fuck.”

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I think my heart just skipped a beat.

So me being a stubborn ass, allowed Serana to soul trap me. It wasn’t pleasant, but it’s better than the alternative. I gave a heavy sigh, looked into the portal, and stepped down.

Next stop: Hell, or something like it.

(Image Credits: All screenshots taken by me unless stated otherwise. Please do not repost without my permission.)

Also happy blog anniversary to me!! TOTW is 3 years old today!! Hurray!! 😀


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