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Dovah Frunt, Kotin Strunmah

February 13, 2012

Oh dragons, you lovely dovah, you. You always show up at the worst times, insult me, then bite my head off and toss me away like a ragdoll. Oh dragons, you’re the best.

Is there a shout for, “FUCK OFF!”? XD

I swear, everytime Alduin talks to my Dovahkiin, it always feels insulting even though I usually have no idea what he’s really saying. So I say, “Back up yours, dragon breath!” Ha! That’ll teach him.

…Or he can just summon meteors and not give a fuck, either or.

I haven’t had many dragon glitches in my…200 hours? of Skyrim so far. No, dragons randomly flying away in the middle of battle don’t really count. I like to think of them as chickens and I try to chase them, but they fly, so they cheat and get away. Thanks, stupid dragon. I wasted like 50 arrows on you.

Anyway, here’s some of the issues and odd moments I’ve come across:

Surprise! Dragon attack! Mmmm, delicious Dovahkiin…OM NOM NOM NOM!!

Once, I was near a mine–perhaps it was Darkwater Crossing, I can’t remember–I was on a hunt for a pickaxe because I recently found some silver ore somewhere. Anyway, as soon as I fast traveled there with Marcurio (this was my first character), I heard a roar and thought, yeah, bring it on!

So a dragon arrives, lands on a house and starts breathing fire everywhere. No big deal.

Until another roar.

TWO DRAGONS. YES, TWO. AT ONCE. AND NO, THEY DIDN’T BATTLE IT OUT AMONGST THEMSELVES (that would have been too epic), BUT INSTEAD I HAVE TO KILL BOTH, AT ONCE. FIRE AND ICE. BLAHH!!

So, I ended up with a lot of dragon bones and scales when I was finished, funny thing was they both died right on top of each other. So it was just a pile of dragon skeletons! XD

Afterwords, I finally got my pickaxe and set out aways to check out the area.

…And a Blood Dragon landed right in front of me.

WHAT THE HELL WHERE DID YOU COME FROM–

JUST COME OUT OF NOWHERE, WHY DON’T YOU?

After I killed him, me and Marcurio had wayy to many dragon bones to carry. XD

Also, there’s the “Surprise! Peak-a-boo!” dragon that’s just a tease, shows up then disappears, shows up at the same place later, and flies away, etc. I had this problem with a Blood Dragon outside of Riften for a long time…it always seems to be those damn Blood Dragons!!

Then more recently, the same thing happened (ironically), at the Dragon Bridge. The dragon killed me twice, and the third fast travel there, he flew around and roared a bit, then he left. I guess he didn’t like the rain or something…

For the very first dragon fight in the game, I had a dragon who suddenly decided to fly very, very slowly, literally maybe more like 75% slower than it should be. It certainly liked the hang time it had doing a nose dive, and breathing fire everywhere. Made it really easy to shoot though, but it looked really weird when he started roaring.

The rest of this post contains moderate spoilers for the Main Quest. If you haven’t gotten past The Throat of the World quest, and don’t want to get spoiled…I wouldn’t read anymore. Plus it also contains a few end-game spoilers, too.

Paarthurnax

…Perhaps it’s the Dovah greeting for “hello”?

Don’t get me wrong, I love Paathurnax. He has one of the coolest voices in game…well, at least from what I heard of it.

When I first arrived at the peak of the mountain, I kind of knew what to expect because I accidentally spoiled it for myself, but no worries. As expected, Paarthurax flew down from the sky with his booming voice and greeted me as he kicked up debris from his landing.

“Dovahkiin,” his voice rumbled.

Oh my god. So cool!! my inner fangirl screamed.

During the middle of our conversation, however, he took off in flight. It wasn’t a big deal…until he never came back down.

See, Paarthurnax started spinning backwards into the sky, further and further away, still trying to continue our conversation, which wasn’t really working. It was a good thing I had subtitles on (I have a hard time hearing the game audio when the furnace kicks in), but eventually he went up so high I couldn’t see him or hear him anymore.

What.

Eventually, his voice started coming back again as he started spinning back to earth. Keep in mind, I’m not rushing through the dialogue or anything. He’s spinning backwards, spinning, spinning, OH MY GOD HE’S GOING TO LAND ON ME…nope, spinning, into the mountain, into it…into…

Until he looked a little something like this:

Rawr.

…Except he continued to spin until he disappeared and his voice grew quiet again, and I can only assume the Throat of the World swallowed him up. What was amusing though, was the quest marker on the compass was going nuts, lol.

Eventually he just suddenly appeared in the sky like nothing happened and landed all badass-like. Sure, Paarthurnax, sure.

That was the weirdest glitch I ever had. I looked it up later, and sure enough, it’s happened to a few other people too. If you google search it, you’ll find a couple of video examples of it (I took my own video, but the quality isn’t really worth uploading…especially since there’s already videos of it online), but as far as I know, none of them have Paarthurnax going THROUGH the mountain.

Near the end of the game, at the temple before Sovngarde it happened with an Ancient Dragon on top of a pillar. He began spinning away backwards into the sky, never to be seen again. That’s fine with me, bro, easier to fight a Dragonpriest without a dragon blowing fire up your ass.

…And that’s pretty much it. My weird dragon moments. No actual flying-backwards-dragons (should I be disappointed…?), or word-walls that don’t activate (…yet…), although I did get the “I can’t absorb a dragon soul!!” once. There was just a dead body of a dragon lying there, it didn’t turn into a skeleton of itself or anything. No aggro’d captured Odahviing in Dragonsreach (phew!). So I guess my glitches are pretty minor. They are amusing, even though they take the immersion out of the game a bit. But I don’t mind, as long as my game doesn’t break and it just happens once and awhile.

Anyway, shoutouts to the Dovahs–you always make things definitely interesting…and dangerous.

Image Credits: UESP Wiki, The Elder Scrolls Wiki, Bethesda Softworks

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One comment

  1. Fack you mean Fuck



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