h1

“Wait…I know you.”

February 10, 2012

...Shit. Nope, no you don't...

Oh, guards.

At least, unlike in Oblivion, they give you some warning. I remember so many times, I’d just rob shit in Cyrodiil, run away, ride away on Shadowmere on my merry way, and then, all of a sudden…

(camera whips away)

“STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!!”

"You violated my mother."

Oh sh–

And, in Oblivion, it was literally kinda almost impossible to do anything in any of the major cities, because these guys would just arrest your shit right on sight. Also, they seem pretty observant…or I’m just a terrible opportunist thief.

(Alas, I am also pretty bad at lockpicking…at least, when escaping jail. FFFFUUUU–)

It’s not like they’re exactly hard to sneak by or anything…they just seem to pop out of nowhere when you least expect it, like they’re watching over your shoulder or something and they just know, almost as if they can smell your stolen goods. And at least it’s fairly easy to get back your stolen shit out of those “evidence” chests. Hurrah.

Skyrim, it’s a tad different.

You get a bounty, and the guards stop you and ask you to either pay it, or serve your time. Now, you can do those two things, or, if you’re like me who tends to save up more stolen goods than you should be…you can just run. Fast. Away. Go. GO!

(Also, having a mount helps to make a faster getaway. Yay, mounts!!) 😀

…You come back later, totally forgetting about said bounty and one of these two things happen.

1) They kind of walk by you and pause with the, “Wait…I know you.”

or,

2) Just attack you on sight, if you’re bounty’s high enough.

Whenever Option 1 happens, I just run from them. XD I learned my lesson the first time when I went to talk to them after they said it, vainly thinking they meant they recognized my awesomness as Thane of Whiterun, or perhaps the fact that I’m Dragonborn! 😀

Me: “Yeeeess?”

Guard: “There’s a warrant out for your arrest…”

Me: “Faaack.”

And then you can just run away and repeat the cycle all over again. Huzzah.

Getting your stuff back in Skyrim isn’t exactly hard either, which is nice. Just be like…”Bitch, I’m SUPPOSED to be here,” and the guards are like, “Okay, cool”, which is just basically:

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

(…But they seem like they do, because I had no idea they’d actually go through the trouble of following me into a dungeon of all things…geez, when are you going to call it quits already?!)

As quoted by my good pub friend…

"The security in Whiterun is terrible. Shameful, is what it is."

Amen, brother. Amen.

Sinmir: (clap, clap)

Guard: “You have commited crimes against Skyrim and her people…”

…Shit.

Image Credits: The Elder Scrolls Wiki, UESP Wiki

(I’ll edit this later to add more clarity. Until then…)

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