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Special Post: I Finished The Game!!

February 7, 2012

Well, okay…you can’t really FINISH Skyrim, I mean, come on, really…but, I did finish THE MAIN QUEST!!

😀

I finally got my ass into gear and sat myself in front of the television today and told myself, “Enough excuses!! Today is the day you defeat the World-Eater with your mighty Thu’um and save all of Tamriel from destruction!!”

And so I did.

(The rest of this post contains HUGE SPOILERS from here on out for SKYRIM and the…well, you guessed it…THE MAIN QUESTLINE!!)

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SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!!

I'm assuming if you're still reading this post, you've either finished Skyrim, or just don't give a shit about story spoilers.

Ahem. (cracks knuckles) Let’s begin the breakdown, shall we?

I had already saved RIGHT before the final battle, so let’s back track a few days here. To back before when you first capture Odahviing.

It wasn’t exactly a hard battle, but I’m on Adept, so I’m a bit of a pussy. Once captured, we had a long talk and I realized this dragon was one badass motherfucker. He spoke in a way that was like…like a riddle of some sort. And the way he grinned after he spoke every time earned him the name “Cheshire Cat” from me from then on.

(Also, lulz, when Farengar (The Jarl of Whiterun’s wizard) came out and asked for “samples” from Odvakiing to experiment on. Odahviing was all like…”GTFO before I take a sample out of you.” XD)

"We dragons do not lie; But we may not always tell the whole truth."

Once he flies you to the Skuldafn Temple and bids you fare-thee-well, I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed he wouldn’t stick around and help me kill all these fucking Draugr (if you’ve seen my post about the enemies of Skyrim, you’ll know how much I hate the Draugr), or a least, something, but no…just a simple, “Good luck, Dovahkiin” and a take off into a gust of wind that blows a lot of dirt into my face. Gee, thanks, Dovah.

For this part I basically whored out the Sanguine Rose and got my Daedra buddy to help me out here, since I had no followers with me. I killed the first dragon pretty alright, and the Dragon Priest wasn’t TOO bad (thanks to my Daedra distraction, yay!!). At least I got a mask out of the whole ordeal, right? That’s two for my collection now. Woo.

Turns out I didn’t have to fight Dragon #2 on the pillar because he decided to pull a Paarthurnax on me and spin away off into space. See ya. Lucky, I guess!! 😀

Also, the puzzles on this level annoyed me…mildly. I had some spectators through in their opinions for me, so that really helped.

SO AFTER ABOUT TWO, YES, TWO GRUELING HOURS OF KILLING DRAUGR AND ALL THAT FUN STUFF, I WAS OFF TO SOVNGARDE!!

Pretties...

So basically, a huge portion upon the arrival to Sovngarde was pretty…uneventful. I used Clear Skies shout constantly, ran into some old friends, and just basically walked, and cleared mist, and walked, and cleared some more mist…until…

…I arrived in front of the Hall of Valor.

…And ran into this asshole.

“Who the heck are you?” I asked.

“My name is Tsun. I make sure the wrong people don’t go in and steal all the ox head meat and goat cheese.”

(mumble) “…Goddamn it.” (tries to move past)

“Hey, mortal. You can’t enter until you pass my test.”

Oh, oh great. Another test. Like I didn’t already run out of health potions just GETTING here. Isn’t that test enough?! Just let me in, get shit done, and let me kill Alduin, alright? We can talk later.

No, no. Of COURSE I have to pass this test. Thanks, Bethesda.

Boom, bang, clang, sizzle,  slice…oh look…I’m dead.

Tsun then walks away like a badass.

WHO DIED AND MADE YOU THE GATEKEEPER, HUH?

I’M NOT DONE YET!!

Try again. I FUS-RO-DAH’d too early before the battle even began. Goddamn it. Boom, bang, clang, sizzle,  slice…dead.

DFHDGFDKJD;LSDF

This time, with the Amulet of Talos equipped, I arrive again.

Tsun begins. “By what right and honor do you have to enter…”

BY RIGHT OF MY FUS-RO-DAH, BITCH!!

I FINALLY manage to kill him, ate all my food, and now I’m officially out of item aids for my health. Urgh.

There better not be anymore damn tests...

So exhausted and weak, I prance across the dragon-bone bridge and enter the Hall with slight caution.

And oh my god.

FOOD.

EVERYWHERE.

Dead People: “Blah, blah, blah…”

Me: (steals cheese) YOINK! (steals bread from a guy’s hands) YOINK! (steals more food…and more, and more…)

Then I realized, oh shit, the three people I was supposed to meet already left already. XD

Well I wasn’t done yet!! I need more food. It’s not like these dead guys need to eat it, right?

…Finally, I managed to leave (pockets full of course…just enough to almost be over-encumbered), and joined up with the three heroes (who I finally realize were from the flashback in the Elder Scroll, including the chick whom Alduin ate in that flashback). We LOK-VAH-KOOR’d a few times, and Alduin, like the badass asshole he is, decides to reverse it everytime before finally we combined out shouts to Clear Skies that final time.

And then, the battle with Alduin began.

See, before I took my break from the ending, I usually got Alduin’s health dwindled down to at least 2/3’s to 1/3’s of his original health before his flame breath killed me. I don’t know why I’m so weak against flames, maybe it’s the lingering damage, I don’t know.

(Also, let me note I up’d the difficulty to Master from Adept because…well because I WANT the final boss battle to be tough).

So I gave up for a bit, and let the game sit for a few days.

Today, I picked it up again, did the stupid “Clear Skies” crap and began the battle again. This time I summoned my Daedra, had my glass bow ready, FUS-RO-DAH’d a few times, and was careful to avoid the flame breath and fireballs. This time, I had a fire-resistant elven shield equipped (40%), but guess what?! THE BASTARD TURNS TO ICE BREATH!!

Oh, and somehow I died again. Yay.

Then, I went in with a diffeerent strategy. Forget the damn bow I’ve used so much during the whole game. Forget FUS-RO-DAH’ing his scaly ass. It was time to get serious.

So, I whored out Dragonrend.

…What? Isn’t that what its for? Not like Alduin’s gonna land on his own anytime soon, at least not anywhere that’s not on top of a mountain and out of harm’s way.

I used the shout, had my Daedra summon ready, smacked him with my glass sword a few times, he takes off again, I refuel (raise my health), Dragonrended him again, smacked him with sword, used Become Ethereal when my health was low, recuperated, rinse and repeat. Finally, I Dragonrended him for the last time, and made sure I had the finishing blow.

OH SHIT, I WON?!?!

Then I moved back a little just in case Alduin blew up. And he did.

(But I’m okay, though.)

I was a little disappointed he didn’t drop any dragon bones, but I’ll forgive him for his spectacular death animation. Woo. I just hoped he was dead for real this time.

Then everyone congratulated me. But obviously, I couldn’t have done it without my dead buddies and my somewhat-useful Daedra. Aww, I luff you guys~~!! <3<3

I then ran around as a werewolf in the cleared version of Sovngarde to make sure I didn’t miss anything of interest, picked up a few flowers here and there, then asked Tsun if I could leave. At first I thought he was gonna get Odahviing to take me back, but alas, he just shouted me down to earth. Exciting.

Somehow, I ended up on The Throat of the World (heh), with Paarthurnax and a shit load of other dragons flying around and such, had no idea what they all were saying but it sounded pretty cool. It was probably something like, “Yay, our Dragonborn!! Our new Queen!!” and giving me dragon props or something, I dunno. At least, that’s what I’m hoping they were saying. Maybe they were telling “yo-momma’s-so-fat” jokes. Who knows.

Paarthurnax gave me a nice speech, though I felt a bit sorry for him since he lost his brother and all. But don’t blame it on me, Brovakiin. You helped encourage me to do it. And then he flies away all happy and youthful like, then Odahviing shows up after and makes fun of him for it. And then he gave me that Cheshire Grin of his. Oh, Odahviing. You’re so funny.

Then everyone left me. A lone. In the cold. On top of a mountain.

And that’s the end.

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I didn’t get a party celebrating me saving the world and all, or cake or tons of mead when I returned to Whiterun. Instead, I got… “I used to be an adventurer like you…”

REN IS DISAPPOINT.

Well, not really. 😀

It was a good battle, and a fun questline.

Cheers, Skyrim. For your 134 hours or so of me playing.

Peace!!

Image Credits: UESP Wiki, The Elder Scrolls Wiki

NOTE: I apologize for such a long and messy post, I’ll edit it and make revisions in the morning. Too tired now. I need to go bask in my glory of being the all mighty Dovahkiin.

FUS

RO

DAH!!

😀

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